A SOUL IN TORMENT
by ULYFERAL
Summary: A serious trauma in his past causes an anguished and lonely tom to take the ultimate step out of a life he can no longer bear.
1. Chapter 1

**A SOUL IN TORMENT**

Chapter 1: Suicide Attempt

_**Author's Note: I just couldn't resist. Here's yet another story I've given a complete makeover to. This one was originally called 'A Life Torn.' It was short and lacking a lot of back story and action. Only a handful of readers were drawn to reading and enjoying it for what it was saying but I knew I could do so much better with it this time around and maybe garner more interest. **_

He couldn't stand it any longer.....the seemingly endless darkness in his soul was swallowing any shred of joy he attempted to harbor. The career he used to hide his pain behind no longer shut out the loud cries of loneliness in his heart nor stopped the return of those hideous nightmares from his youth.

The solution to end his pain had seemed so simple and easy to accomplish. His career was soo dangerous that a deliberate miscalculation to get out of harms way could put an end to his pain with hardly any effort on his part but his many attempts were thwarted time and time again by well meaning heroes.

After yet another failed attempt, he went home feeling lost and miserable. Unable to eat, he stripped his clothes off and tossed them to the floor in a path to his recliner where he flopped down and stared at the blank TV for what seemed like hours.

When he finally managed to rouse himself it was nightfall. Groaning, he dragged his body from the chair and went to the kitchen. Searching around, he found all the alcohol and took it to his bedroom. Dropping the bottles on the still made bed, he joined them, dragging one of them to him that turned out to be a beer, opening it and swallowing the contents down, finishing it in one go. He reached for another while tossing the first to the floor...this one was vodka. It was going to be a long night of drinking.

Sleep was a fearful place full of terrible, frightening memories that would wake him screaming, crying and begging for mercy. No way was he going to succumb to it without the deadening effects of booze first.

Morning found him horribly hung over with a pounding head, nauseated stomach, and sprawled on the bed surrounded by empty bottles. He'd gotten thoroughly drunk and had passed into oblivion that hid the nightmares quite well but left him still empty and in pain by the light of day.

He rolled off the bed, some of the bottles rolling off with him and hitting the floor with loud thunks....he ignored them as he staggered off to the bathroom. As he stared blearily into the mirror while he took care of his bodily needs, the image he saw was of a defeated and lonely person with blood shot eyes and deep lines of stress around his mouth. His spirit felt empty....lost.....he realized then he could no longer stand to face another day feeling like this.

Leaving the bathroom, he went back to the bed and sat down. He turned his head and searched the bed for a bottle that still held the toxic fluid that gave him solace. Seeing none, he turned his attention to the floor. He leaned over and ended up falling face first to the carpet. Stunned a moment, he just lay there then recalled what he had been looking for and found it under the bed. Triumphant, he snatched the full bottle of whisky then dragged himself back onto the bed.

He twisted off the cap and raised the bottle to his lips then paused suddenly as he remembered something he needed to do first. Clutching the bottle tightly in his paw, he crawled across the bed until he could reach the phone on the night stand. He called his office, telling them he was home sick then hung up and went back to drinking. When the welcome sensation of numbness returned some time later, he climbed clumsily off the bed and stood up.

He had made an important decision and no one was around this time to stop him. With determined concentration, he carefully placed one foot in front of the other, hugging the bottle to his chest, as he made his laborious way to the bedroom window.

_**The day before.....**_

'Another criminal bites the dust......,' Razor thought with smug satisfaction but as he was congratulating himself, an uncomfortable, niggling thought whispered to him that something about the incident today was wrong.

As T-Bone expertly guided the Turbokat down its hidden runway into their hangar, Razor's previously pleased expression faded into a frown of distraction. Try as he might, he simply couldn't bring the reason into the light of day.

Sighing, he shrugged mentally and let the matter be as he and T-Bone leaped from the jet then went to change their clothes. He knew his subconscious would sort itself out eventually and let his conscious mind know what was troubling it sooner or later.

Unfortunately, his normally sharp brain didn't provide the answer until well into the next day. It was around lunchtime and Jake was enjoying the fact that they had no work in the garage so he could pursue an idea he had for a new missile. His partner chose to use the time off to catch up on his zzz's.

He'd just drawn the designs for the missile and had sat back to study it when his mind flitted back to yesterday's battle with Dark Kat. As he replayed the incident, suddenly the reason for his feelings of something being wrong struck him in the face. That image immediately clicked into place with other similar images he'd been disturbed about making a whole that sent absolute horror through him. That they could have continued to dismiss these blatant warning signs, made him sick.

Realizing they may already be too late, he tore out of the hangar and up the ladder then up the stairs to their apartment, his heart hammering with frantic fear. He burst into his partner's room and ripped the bedding off the still sleeping tabby.

"Chance, wake up! Damn it buddy, wake up!" He hissed anxiously as he yanked and pulled at his partner's shoulder.

Chance gasped, snapping suddenly awake and lunging from the bed. Their training to respond to emergencies, clearing the cobwebs of sleep from his mind and body immediately, leaving him ready to respond to whatever it was. Jake stepped back hurriedly before his partner could accidently knock him over.

"What's wrong! I didn't hear the alarm?" He demanded in confusion.

"That's because there was no alarm. The emergency is something I should have reacted to long ago but didn't and now it could be too late! We've got to go and find out for certain!" Jake said urgently.

Startled by the look of panic and anxiousness in his partner's voice, Chance stared at his friend in consternation. "What the heck are you talking about? You're practically shaking!"

"No time! I'll explain on the way.....now come on!" Jake said frantically, turning around and running out of the room again.

Still in the dark but willing to follow Jake's lead, Chance shook off his confusion and pounded after his friend. He made it to the lockers just behind Jake who was already hurriedly pulling on his g-suit.

"Okay, so what's this all about?" He asked as he too quickly dressed.

"Something I saw yesterday with Dark Kat troubled me but I couldn't put a finger on what it was. Well my subconscious came up with the answer a few minutes ago. But I have to ask you something first.....remember when we were at the academy and one of our group committed suicide? It turned out he was soo lonely and isolated that he ended his life by friendly fire," Razor asked hurriedly.

"Uh...yeah, sure. No one guessed he felt that badly. It upset the whole squad," T-Bone said slowly, eyeing his partner in confusion. 'Why was he bringing this up now?' He wondered.

"And because of it, we received that special briefing about how to detect anyone suffering the same thing, remember?"

"Yeah, we were taught to pay closer attention to certain warning signs."

"Exactly. Well I saw those warning signs, not once but several times, but because of who the person was, I ignored what I was seeing. However, yesterday in the fight with Dark Kat, this Kat did the same thing he'd done three times before. That's when I realized exactly what he was doing and it shocked me. I'm certain he's going to try again but on his own this time!" Razor said tightly, turning to run for the jet.

T-Bone blinked in angry confusion as he ran after Razor. Jumping into the cockpit, he strapped in then started the jet's engines before demanding an explanation.

"Now who the heck are you talking about?" T-Bone asked, frowning at his controls as he spoke to his partner through their radio.

"It's a person we hate and ignore all the time but what he's done recently can't be ignored any longer, least of all by us."

"Will you stop dancing around and tell me who you're talking about!" T-Bone growled as he prepared to launch from the hangar but wouldn't until he knew what was going on first.

"It's Feral!"

"What!" T-Bone blurted angrily, nearly shutting down the jet again. He turned around in his seat as far as he was able and snapped, "what the heck are you talking about. That Kat is too strong willed, stubborn and to by the book to be contemplating such an act!"

Razor shook his head. "Just listen to the facts! The past few missions against omegas Feral has done something so incredibly out of character and down right insane that I didn't realize what I was seeing until today. With Viper....he stepped right in the way of that spiny vine and nearly got skewered, next he flew his chopper directly in the path of that bolt of energy from the Metallikats; and, yesterday, he walked right up to Dark Kat and was almost bisected by dark crud's laser. Each time you or I pulled him away at the last second. That's why he went berserk and tried to punch you in the face yesterday. He wasn't furious because we interfered with the enforcers as usual, it was because we kept him from trying to end his life."

T-Bone's mouth hung open in shock. He snapped it shut and played those incidents over in his own mind.....seeing it from Razor's perspective. His heart lurched with horror. Now that it had been pointed out to him, he could clearly see Feral's acts for what they'd truly been.......a desperate cry for help from a person in so much pain he could no longer live with it.

His face going grim with concern, he said not another word, turned back around and shot the jet out of the hangar at nearly top speed reaching high above the yard in seconds.

"So you think he might be trying again on his own this time or might have already succeeded?" He asked grimly as he put them in level flight then went to VTOL until he learned where they were going.

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. Let's see if we can determine if he went to work this morning," Razor said tightly as he opened the frequency for the enforcers. "SWAT Kats calling Enforcer Tower!"

"Enforcer Tower! You have no right to be on this frequency SWAT Kat! Get off it immediately!" An officious voice ordered.

"We just want to have a word with the Commander!" Razor growled.

"Even if he was here, he wouldn't want to speak with you! Get off this frequency before I send a fighter unit after you!" The officer snarled then cut the connection.

"So he's not there....that's not good! However, we have no idea if he's just somewhere else, buddy, nor do we know where he lives," T-Bone said worriedly.

"Well, we could check with Callie to see if she knows where he is and besides, she'll know his address!"

"Good idea, next stop.....city hall." T-Bone agreed, taking the jet off VTOL and going to all engines to get to city hall more rapidly.

"Callie needs to know about this anyway!" Razor added quietly.

Minutes later, he set the Turbokat down on the helicopter pad on the city hall clock tower. Opening the canopy, the pair leaped to the ground and ran to the rooftop door and down the short flight of stairs to the Mayor's offices.

They were in luck, Callie was at her desk working when they burst in. "SWAT Kats?! What brings you here?" She asked in surprise.

"Ms. Briggs, we don't have much time so please listen carefully," Razor said urgently and quickly told her of his suspicions and his evidence to back it up.

Callie gaped at him in shock. "You're certain of this?" She finally managed to ask, finding it really hard to believe.

"Yes, Ms. Briggs. We had an unfortunate incident in our past that told us what to look for and Feral shows all the clinical signs of severe depression and suicidal behavior," Razor said grimly.

"Oh my this is terrible! However, before we go running off on a possible wild goose chase, let me check with Enforcer Headquarters to determine where he might be," she said reaching for her phone. "Hello...this is the Deputy Mayor. I'd like to speak with Commander Feral, please..... Really? Alright, thank you anyway......no....no message." Callie hung up the phone then reached for her purse and stood up. "Let's go! Sgt Fallon said Feral called in sick!" She said worriedly.

"Damn!" T-Bone muttered as he led the way back to the rooftop.

Reaching the jet, they helped Callie aboard, seating her next to Razor in the jumpseat and giving her a helmet so they could speak with her. She gave them Feral's home address and waited in silence as T-Bone piloted the jet to the location.

"T-Bone, approach from a high altitude....we don't want to spook Feral," Razor warned.

"Right." T-Bone answered and took the jet up a distance above the apartment building and went to VTOL mode.

Razor used his X-ray machine to scan the building. Only a few moments later he hissed, "Oh, my God! He's on the ledge outside a sixth floor window, probably his apartment. Crud, T-Bone we dare not get too close or he'll jump or fall off. Nothing I have will be able to pluck him off without him trying to avoid it. I could try to catch him if or when he falls but I'd really rather not have to."

"Take me down. Let me try to talk him in," Callie said grimly.

"Good idea, Ms. Briggs, he certainly wouldn't listen to either of us," T-Bone agreed, taking the jet down on the opposite side of the roof where Feral was clinging.

Razor helped Callie out and went with her to Feral's apartment. It was locked forcing Razor to use his glovatrix to open it. "Good luck, Ms. Briggs. We'll go back up above the apartment to wait and watch. Don't worry....if I have to I'll catch him in a net," he whispered to her. She nodded and slipped into the apartment.

Her heart in her throat, she quickly moved through the silent apartment surprised to see a trail of clothing from the door to the recliner. The rest of the place was neat as a pin so the clothing on the floor wasn't normal to her mind. Reaching the bedroom, she saw more signs of things being very wrong with the Commander as she stepped around dozens of empty alcohol bottles on the floor and bed.

Feeling even more afraid for Feral, she headed for the open window. She swallowed her anxiety as she thought, 'Razor's suspicions were spot on!'

She prayed he was still aware enough to hear her, though, the amount of empty bottles didn't leave her with much hope. Holding onto the sash, she leaned out and looked both ways, spotting him to her left. He was huddled up and clutching another bottle, eyes closed, rocking silently. The rocking frightened her as the ledge just wasn't that wide and each rock had the Commander leaning out into space.

Shaking inside, she gathered her courage and called out to the distraught kat, "Ulysses? Can you hear me?" She thought his first name might reach him. "Please, Ulysses, talk to me. It's Callie. I want to help you," she pleaded but it was becoming obvious he wasn't hearing anything much less her voice.

If she could read his thoughts, she would realize her guess was correct, he heard nothing....not even the city noises drifting up from the street below. His ears were dead to any sound but his inner thoughts which were dismal and not worth listening to.

He tipped the bottle to his mouth and realized foggily that it was empty. With no thought at all, he released it to fall, staring in dull fascination as the bottle smashed explosively on the sidewalk below then leaned forward letting his body fall to follow it.....his mind fleeing into oblivion.

The tom never felt the net snatching him from certain death and hoisting him upward to a certain black jet hovering above.

Winching Feral up to the cargo hold, Razor felt his heart settle back in his chest again. It had rose to his throat when he saw the big tom fall like a limp doll. Only his finger hovering over the net missile button was fast enough to save the Commander from certain death.

The limp body reached the cargo door and he pulled it in to lay on the floor beside him. He signaled the door closed then turned to gently untangle the unconscious Commander from the netting. He shook his head at the sight of Feral's exhausted face.....lines of stress and unhappiness creased the tired visage.

"Razor?" His partner's concerned voice came over his helmet radio.

"He's safe, just unconscious. Better go down and get Callie, buddy. I'm sure she's really shook up by now then we'll take him to the hospital."

"Roger!" T-Bone responded, relief in his voice as he went back down to retrieve a badly shaken Callie.

The flight to Megakat Medical Center took only fifteen minutes and was completed in silence. Callie remained with Feral in the cargo area holding his head in her lap while caressing his face worriedly. She didn't know how she'd missed how unhappy Ulysses was but the taciturn Kat never really let anyone close to him so it was easy to overlook that he could be hurting inside. She only hoped they could help him. Whether she liked him or not, he was the best enforcer commander they'd had and they badly needed him with the omegas around.

Razor called ahead and warned the ER they were coming in. When they landed, a medical team came rushing out and whisked Feral away quickly and efficiently. The on call doctor took down all the information Ms. Briggs and the SWAT Kats could provide them then disappeared after his patient.

It took the better part of an hour before the doctor returned to speak to them. They had hidden themselves in a small private waiting area so no one would see them there as they waited to hear what could be done for Feral.

"Ms. Briggs. I'm Dr. Yisson. Besides intoxication from the amount of alcohol Commander Feral ingested, I could find only exhaustion and signs of severe depression. He's conscious but completely withdrawn, refusing to speak with anyone. I've asked for a psych consult and until they can see him, I've given him a mild sedative to allow him to stay calm and get some much needed rest. He will be admitted to the psych ward for his own safety and under a suicide watch. You'll have to speak with whoever takes over his care on the ward as to what his prognosis will be. That most likely won't be until tomorrow," he told them quietly. "It was really a good thing you realized the danger he was in and saved him from himself yet again. Now that we're aware the Commander has a problem, the next step is to get him the right kind of help."

"Thank you, doctor, so are we, though I feel so stupid not to have noticed he was in trouble in the first place," she said shaking her head in regret. "Now that he's in good paws, I'll be returning to my office. Here's my card. Please have whoever will be taking the Commander's case call me with an update. Under no circumstances is the press or the enforcers to be notified about why he is here. A news blackout and increased security is hereby required. Limit the number of people who know why the Commander is here to only those that are involved with his treatment," Callie ordered quietly.

The doctor took her card and nodded gravely. "I understand completely, Ms. Briggs. It wouldn't do for the public to learn why the Commander is here. The Chief Enforcer's reputation and the city's faith in him would be shaken if they were to learn he is suffering from a psychological problem. Your orders will be carried out immediately and I'll inform the hospital administrator so he can put his authority behind the news block. We've dealt with celebrities and politicians before so know what to do in this case," he assured her calmly.

"Thank you! That definitely relieves my mind. I will withhold briefing the Mayor until I get a report on the Commander's condition," she said, sighing.

"I certainly don't envy you that chore, Ms. Briggs," the doctor said giving her wane smile then nodding farewell as he turned to go back into Feral's treatment room.

"We'll give you a lift back to city hall, Ms. Briggs," Razor assured her as they turned away and walked back to the rooftop flight line.

"Thanks guys," she said wanly following them. "Gods! What a mess. I now have to play damage control. Not only do I have to brief the Mayor but Lt. Feral as well."

"I certainly don't envy you that and Lt. Feral......she's going to be really upset about this," T-Bone agreed, sighing as well.

"I'm certain of that. I hope they tell me something quickly before someone spots him or the enforcers get concerned about his absence. Want me to give you guys a heads up as well?"

"Yeah, I'd like to know what caused him to fall apart like this. It had to be something really bad from his past," Razor said quietly as he helped her aboard the jet.

"Yes, I know. Anyway, you'll have to step up your patrols since that idiot Steele will be in charge for a while," she added unhappily.

T-Bone snorted as he closed the canopy and started the engines. "We planned on it," was all he said as he sent the jet airborne.


	2. Chapter 2

**A SOUL IN TORMENT**

Chapter 2: A Serious Security Risk

Callie stepped back into her office and put her purse and coat away. The clock on the wall said it was well after two in the afternoon. She sighed and wished she could just go home. She was completely wrung out emotionally by what had happen but she had too many responsibilities.

Before she could marshal her thoughts, an irritable voice reached her before the portly body of its owner appeared through their connecting door.

"Callae! Where have you been? I return from my enjoyable galf game with the developers from Trenchen, Beecher, and Lamaran Corp to find you gone and no one knew where you'd gone," he said fuming.

She eyed him with irritation. "Let's go back into your office, Mayor. What I have to tell you is strictly confidential and must be kept within these offices," she said firmly, nearly pushing him back into his office.

He blinked in surprise but turned and walked back to his desk, watching as Callie closed both his doors and locked them. He frowned at her but held his tongue because he could see she was distressed by something. He almost didn't want to know since he was certain it would be something he wouldn't like and might cause him trouble.

"The SWAT Kats came to see me around lunchtime. Razor realized one of our important leaders was in trouble. It turned out he was right and we barely succeeded in saving this individual's life. I've just come from the hospital where this person is being held for his safety," she began. Unable to look at Manx and still too upset to sit down, Callie went to the coffee service and made herself a strong cup. She took a hit and it help to ease her.

She carried her cup over to the Mayor's desk. He was frowning questioningly at her.

"I'm still shaking from the sight of this person perching on the ledge outside his apartment window and moments later, falling without making a sound for the street below. If it weren't for the SWAT Kats catching him, I'd be telling you to prepare for a shocking news release. As it is we need to keep this information to ourselves."

"Why? Just how important is this person and why the devil did he try to kill himself?" Manx said in shocked dismay. He had been right...he definitely didn't like this news...what he didn't know was it was about to get worse.

"It's Commander Feral. Though they had seen the warning signs, because of who it was they couldn't believe what they were seeing. It was Razor who put together the pieces after the incident with Dark Kat yesterday and realized what they were seeing was true. So the two raced to see me so we could prevent Feral from trying again. I had tried to talk Feral down from the ledge but he wasn't hearing anything at that point before he simply leaned forward and fell. It was a traumatic thing to see. What he had apparently been trying to do for months was have the omegas take his life but after being rescued every time, he apparently decided to do the job himself and he might have succeeded if the SWAT Kats hadn't rescued him yet again."

Manx sat with his mouth hanging open in total shock for several seconds before jumping from his seat to walk around his desk and begin pacing in agitation.

"How could this happen? I would have staked my reputation on Feral being the most stable rock around. There must be some mistake because something like this should have been caught long before he was made Chief Enforcer," Manx said in distress.

"I have no way of knowing, Mayor. I suspect he was just a very good actor since he managed to hide his pain with no one being aware of it. Whatever happened to him must have occurred in his past somewhere. He's going to be seen by a psychiatrist who will hopefully be able to find out what that something was, meanwhile Feral's been sedated, sent to the psych ward and is under suicide watch. I've instituted a complete news blackout and insured security is increased around him," Callie said tirededly.

"Good...good.....mustn't let the press know about this.....could cause a huge scandal....but what are we going to do now about a Chief Enforcer?" He said in a panicky voice.

"First, we'll stay calm....." Callie said firmly as she went to the Mayor and put her paws on his shoulders to steer him to his seat once more. "Sit!" She ordered then went to get him some tea...setting it before him moments later.

"Now, there's nothing we can do but what I have done so far until we hear from the doctor on Feral's prognosis. When we get that, only then can we decide what further action to take. Meanwhile, Lt. Commander Steele will be in charge. I have to go see him about this but I don't intend to tell him about what happened. I don't trust this tom that well so he'll only be told that Feral's very ill. However, Feral's niece, Lt. Feral does need to know the truth. It's possible she or her family will know what might have happened to him in the past. That information will be important to helping the Commander get well."

Manx drank his tea as he listened to his Deputy. He nodded when she had finished speaking and said, "You're right, Callae. I'm glad you've got a handle on this. Keep this information secured and stay on top of the matter and, above all, keep me informed. He sighed in resignation, "What a nightmare. I just hope no more omegas show right now!"

"So do I Mayor Manx. It's getting late and I need to catch the lieutenant so I'll call it a day and see you tomorrow," she said, giving up any idea of clearing the work on her desk right now. Fortunately, there was nothing urgently needing her attention right now.

"Fine. Go ahead. I'll leave as well and see you in the morning, Callae," the Mayor sighed as he finished his tea. Callie just nodded and went to the door that connected their offices, unlocked it and stepped through to her own office, closing the door behind her.

She checked the paperwork on her desk, sorted it quickly, locked up sensitive documents and left the rest in her basket for tomorrow. She pulled out her purse again, put on her jacket and left.

Minutes later, she was driving to Enforcer Headquarters. She arrived an hour before shift change, parking in Feral's normal spot. Walking up the wide stairs she reached the huge doors and pushed her way into the noisy, busy lobby heading for the bank of elevators. Those that monitored the area, recognized her and allowed her passage without challenge. She sighed as she stepped into an empty car and pressed the button for the top floor. The express elevator whisked her upward rapidly then reopened seconds later. She stepped out and made for the Commander's office.

She halted before the secretary's desk. The young she-kat looked up from her computer and eyed her in surprise.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Briggs. What can I do for you?" She asked politely.

"I need to speak privately with Lt. Commander Steele. Could you please summon him to meet me here in Commander Feral's office, please," Callie ordered quietly. "Also, would you send an alert to Lt. Feral that I need to see her as well. When she arrives, have her wait out here until I'm done with Commander Steele."

The secretary blinked in confused surprise but did as ordered. Hanging up the phone a few minutes later, she said, "he will be here in just a minute, ma'am and Lt. Feral is still out on patrol but is due back in by four o'clock. The flight officer said he would order her to return now."

"Thank you," Callie said then stepped toward Feral's office and pushed the door open, entering the huge space. She walked up to the huge bank of windows and stared outside pensively.

She was joined a few minutes later by the slim blond tom that rubbed her the wrong way. The Lieutenant Commander was an arrogant coward that she just couldn't abide but politics kept him from being replaced. Sighing mentally, she turned to give him her full attention.

His expression showed he was both irritated and suspicious about why he had been summoned. Frowning at him, she gave him the prepared lie she had come up with on her way here.

"I'm here to inform you that you have command until Commander Feral returns. He has taken seriously ill and is in the hospital. He is under strict security and news blackout. Only you and his niece will know where he is...and why....no one else. Understood?" She said flatly.

His face flashed a look of surprise then pleasure before being replaced swiftly with a look of proper concern.

"Thank you for informing, Ms. Briggs. Do you have any idea how long the Commander will be..uh..confined?" His smarmy voice asked.

She knew damn well the tom didn't give a rat's ass about the Commander's welfare. He was just putting on a concerned act for her. She wished he wouldn't even try....he was bad at it.

"I have no idea yet but will know by tomorrow. Now I have other business, have a good evening," she said politely making her escape from his presence.

Stepping out of the office she glanced over at the secretary when she didn't see Lt. Feral anywhere.

"The lieutenant sent a message asking if you would please meet her in the pilot's waiting area?" The secretary quickly told her.

"No problem, thanks."

Callie made for the elevator again and took it one floor down. The doors snapped open to a rather utilitarian area. It was small with only a couch, coffee table, a single lamp on an end table and a coffee prep area. A keypad secured door was across the room that lead into the flight prep area for the pilots.

She remained standing and waiting for some fifteen minutes when the secured door swung open abruptly and spilled out a few officers. The first ones eyed her in surprise before passing by her for the elevator before the last one entering stopped by her side.

"Ms. Briggs," Felina said, nodding gravely at her. She knew a personal meeting like this could only mean bad news. She already knew her uncle had not come into work today and had intended on checking on him when she got off duty but was unprepared to have the Deputy Mayor ask to see her.

"Lieutenant, we need to talk....privately," Callie said quietly.

Felina stared into the grim she-kat's eyes for a moment then nodded. The turned back to the elevator and entered when it arrived. They rode down to the next floor below the flight line in silence. When the elevator stopped, Felina led the way down a hallway of a broad concord that lead across the suspended bridge to the second building that stood as tall as the main headquarters.

When they reached the other building, Felina went to another elevator and took it down four floors which decanted them on a quiet hallway full of doors....the private quarters of the unattached officers that chose to live at headquarters.

She stopped at a door and unlocked it, gesturing for her guest to enter ahead of her then closing and locking the door behind her. The mini apartment was rather spartan. The living area held a small couch, chair, end table, coffee table and entertainment center and beyond that near the window was a simple kitchenette area with mini fridge, cooktop and a couple of cupboards. Callie could see into a small bedroom off the living room....simple but comfortable. The lieutenant had tried to make it a bit more homy with a couple of plants near the rooms only window and some tasteful paintings on the wall.

"Please have a seat. Would you like something to drink, Ms. Briggs?" Felina asked heading for her fridge.

"No...thanks...but certainly get something for yourself," Callie said with a small smile as she headed to the couch and took a seat.

Felina nodded, fetched a cold bottle of water and returned to sit on the other end of the couch, turning to look expectantly at the Deputy Mayor, waiting for her to make the first move.

"What I'm about to tell you is terrible news and there is no way to make it any easier," Callie said heavily then told Felina everything that had happened earlier in the day.

When she'd stopped speaking, Felina could only stare at her in anguished sorrow. "Oh, poor Uncle Ulysses," she moaned, setting her drink on the table and putting her face in her paws.

"I'm sorry to bring you such terrible news, lieutenant," Callie said unhappily.

Felina shook her head but didn't look up. "I knew there was something wrong.....I could feel it but he's so stubborn and refuses to tell anyone what's going on with him even his own brother," she said heavily then looked up and gave Callie an anguished stare. "What happens now?"

"I don't know. I've done what I could to protect his privacy and until he sees the psychiatrist, there's nothing either of us can do at the moment," Callie sighed.

Felina suddenly straightened as a sudden realization struck her. "Oh no! I just realized he can't be left at the hospital. My uncle has a top secret clearance and his head is full of very sensitive information no one is allowed to be privy to but those cleared for it and that does not include a civilian physician. This could seriously impact the security of the enforcers and the city. I must contact the EISOC and tell them my uncle has become a temporary security risk. They'll want to transfer him to a military facility for his care," she said tightly getting up from the couch. "Come on, Ms. Briggs, we have to go see them right now!"

Callie blinked in surprise. How had she forgotten the security risks? After all, she had remembered to put him under security protection but forgot completely that his head was full of really important information. She felt like kicking herself as she quickly got to her feet and followed the lieutenant out of her apartment.

They retraced their steps to the main headquarters, took the elevator to the eighth floor then Felina led her through a myriad of offices until she was quite lost. They finally reached the offices of the EISOC (Enforcer Internal Security Operations Command). They had to gain access by way of a young officer whose desk blocked access to a keypad entry point behind him. Two guards also flanked the door.

"Yes, can I help you?" The officer asked politely.

"I'm Lieutenant Felina Feral," Felina said showing her badge. "This is Deputy Mayor Calico Briggs."

"May I see some ID, Ms. Briggs," the officer asked.

Callie quickly fished her special security ID given her when she took office. The officer took both Ids then asked, "may I ask why you need to enter our offices?"

"We urgently need to see Colonel Tigarrd on a matter of national security. I'm afraid, I'm not at liberty to reveal anymore than that except to say time is really against us at the moment," Felina said urgently.

The officer eyed them a moment longer then rose from his seat. "Please wait here a moment." He left, carrying their Ids and went to the door, tapped in a set of numbers then went in when the door popped open. He was gone for more than ten minutes but finally reappeared with two more guards.

"These two officers will escort you to the Colonel," he said politely, handing their Ids over.

Felina nodded her thanks then went through the door followed closely by Callie and the two guards. One guard took the lead while the other remained at their backs as they went through what was a normal looking hallway full of offices, fully manned, and busy despite the time of day. They walked for several minutes until they came to a heavy door and the lead guard knocked softly on it.

A deep voice beckoned them in. The guard opened the door and gestured for them to go on in. The two females did so, the guards remaining outside the door which was closed behind them.

In the medium sized office was a huge desk, a set of three filing cabinets, two bookcases, and a computer sitting on one end of the desk. Sitting behind the desk was a huge tiger cross who was going through a large stack of files. He noted their entry and set aside what he was doing, getting to his feet to greet Ms. Briggs.

"Good evening, Ms. Briggs. To what do I owe this rather unusual visit?" He asked urbanely, shaking her paw then gesturing for her to take a seat on one of a pair of chairs before his desk.

Felina opted to remain standing, taking a parade rest stance, waiting for the Colonel to recognize her.

"I'm afraid it was Lt. Feral who reminded me the situation I was involved in earlier today could have serious security consequences. She fortunately realized it and brought me to see you. Here's what happened......." she began explaining again what she'd told Felina.

When she finished, Colonel Tigarrd stared at her from under hooded brows, no expression on his face. He frowned finally then leaned back in his seat and stared at the far wall for a long moment then leaned forward and grabbed his phone. For the next few minutes he gave out brisk orders to whoever was on the other end of the phone line. Finally, after making several more calls, the Colonel returned his attention to the pair waiting patiently before him.

"Thank you for notifying me of this serious matter. As we speak, Commander Feral is being prepared to be moved to a secured military facility at the Eagle's Nest Citadel north of the city. He will receive the care he needs there and his secrets will be safe," he reassured them.

"That's a relief. Thank you, Colonel Tigarrd. I'll inform the Mayor that the Commander has been moved for security reasons but not tell him where he's been taken unless he insists," Callie said preparing to leave.

"Will he insist, Ms. Briggs?" Tigarrd asked with some concern.

"No! He has left me in charge of dealing with this mess."

"I'm glad for that then. I do not trust him to keep a secret, no offense, Ms. Briggs."

"None taken......and you would be absolutely right about him."

"Sir, would I be able to see my uncle once he's safely at the citadel?" Felina dared to ask, speaking for the first time since they entered the room.

The Colonel gave her a sympathetic look. "I'll insure you are given clearance to do so, Lieutenant. You do understand that only you will be allowed to see him.....no one else of your family?" he asked gravely.

"Yes sir, I do."

"Good, then I'll contact you as soon as I hear he's able to have visitors. I will also insure you receive an update as soon as I receive it on the Commander's prognosis, Ms. Briggs," he assured them both.

"Thank you, sir!" Felina said, relieved.

"Yes, thank you for handling this so efficiently. I feel much better knowing he will soon be safe and secure. Now all we can hope is they can get him well again," Callie said ready to leave and go home.

"That is my hope too ma'am. Have a better evening," he said quietly, escorting them to the door.

Callie nodded while Felina saluted which was returned. The guards escorted them back out of the area then Felina took Callie back to the main elevator where she could leave for home.

"Thanks for telling me, Ms. Briggs. I hope Uncle Ulysses will get better soon."

"He should, Lieutenant, there are a lot of people trying to help him," Callie said, patting the young officer's shoulder in sympathy before getting on the elevator.

When the Deputy Mayor vanished from view, Felina allowed her shoulders to slump. She was worried and knew she needed to speak to her parents. She was off duty until the day after tomorrow. She would drive out to see them tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

**A SOUL IN TORMENT**

Chapter 3: Unraveling the Past

Felina climbed into her pickup truck and drove out of the city. Her parents lived in a little community about ten miles out of the city limits. They preferred the sound of nature to the constant thrum of a busy city.

It took her about an hour to reach her family home. She pulled into a long driveway from the main road and followed it up to a nice cozy home surrounded by trees and lush farmland. A wrap around porch was the first thing one noticed about the place. It was a simple two story, wooden clapboard home painted a welcoming soft blue. She parked her truck in front of the two car garage and stepped out and took a deep inhale of the fresher air. Evening had fallen and soft light spilled out the many windows.

She went to the front door and knocked before opening the screen and entering. Her father was just walking up to see who it was and a broad smile creased his face at the sight of her.

"Felina," he cried, hugging her tightly to his chest.

Tyrone Feral was nearly as tall as his brother and as broad, but his fur coloring was much lighter than Uly's and his face was less severe looking, with laugh lines around his mouth and eyes which were missing from his brother's more stern visage. He also had a mop of dark brown hair that was forever falling into his face. His golden eyes twinkled with good humor, rarely losing his temper unlike his hot-tempered brother, and enjoying the more peaceful things in life.

"Dad!" She said warmly, hugging him back. "Hi, Mom," she added when a beautiful older she-kat stepped into the room from the kitchen.

Alisse Feral had blue-black fur with a distinctive white patterning that striped her hair and her tail. Her amber eyes gleamed with pleasure as she came over to receive a hug as well.

"What brings you all the way out here daughter? Though, whatever the reason, we're very glad to see you," her father asked.

"You're just in time for dinner, Felina. Come sit down and tell us what's been happening to you," her mother said, guiding her daughter to the kitchen.

"Thanks, I left without dinner so food would be welcome right now," Felina said warmly, taking her familiar seat.

They served up the food and ate, chatting about the things they had done since they'd seen each other last. It was when they were having a slice of pie with coffee, that Felina told them the reason for her unexpected visit.

"I'm afraid I have some grave news. Uncle Ulysses tried to commit suicide earlier today," she said softly.

Alisse gasped and raised a paw to her mouth in shock. Tyrone stared at her in anguished sorrow.

"Oh god! Poor Uly. I thought the nightmares and depression were behind him but I guess since he refused to seek counseling this was bound to happen eventually," he said sadly.

Felina stared at her father in shocked surprise. "You knew he had problems?"

Tyrone rubbed his neck in embarrassed unhappiness. "It was his life, Felina. Our parents tried to get him to seek help but he refused. He was always strong willed and refused to admit to any weakness. Five years ago, before he became Chief Enforcer, he suffered anxiety attacks and worried that he wouldn't be good enough for the job. He stayed here for a while trying to beef up his courage and to calm himself. While he was here, he had such terrible nightmares. He'd wake screaming, scaring the both of us terribly and still he wouldn't seek help even though I begged him to."

"But why did he have nightmares? What happened to him?" Felina asked.

Her father sighed and looked frustrated. "Honestly, I don't really know. There was only one incident that was serious enough to maybe cause this problem and it occurred when he was just sixteen. A group of hoodlums attacked him one evening when he was on his way home. When he failed to come home, Dad and I went looking for him and found him laying in an alley, beat bloody, clothes ripped and unable to stand up. Dad raced him to the hospital and he was treated. When the cops tried to ask what happened, Uly would only say they jumped him for no reason and beat him," he told her.

"But, I knew there was more to it. Uly had this haunted look in his eyes and the nightmares began shortly after. He changed. He became cold and hard, severing ties with his friends and keeping to himself. I tried for years until he left home to get him to open up to me.....to tell me what really happened that night.....but he just wouldn't.....or maybe he had been so traumatized he couldn't....whatever the reason, he left home with it still hanging over him," Tyrone finished, shaking his head in sorrow and resignation.

Felina sat there completely stunned. Her uncle had hidden this far too well but now it had spilled out and was destroying him. "You're right, Dad. Something much more serious had to have happened because I've seen this kind of trauma before and the reasons were far more terrible than a beating. Did the police ever find the ones who did it?"

"Yes. It was a gang of five. They were older boys and made it their business to terrorize, rob, and destroy property all around the neighborhood. It took the police over a month, but they finally put the gang behind bars. Uly wouldn't testify but others, fortunately, did. Those five have been in and out of prison for many years now."

"Give me their names. I want to dig a little deeper and see what I can find out. They hold the key to the truth that will hopefully set Uncle Ulysses free," Felina said, a glimmer of hope flaring within her.

"Oh, Felina. These are harden toms now.....I'd hate to see you get involved with them....." her mother objected.

"Mother, I'm a very well trained officer of the law. I've been handling creeps like that for several years now. They have more to fear from me than I do from them. We have to know, Mother. Uncle Ulysses didn't just try once but four times to kill himself. I have to find out why!"

Both her mother and father gasped in anguished shock at that news. Giving each other a sorrowful look, Tyrone nodded and got up to get some paper and a pen.

Less than a couple of hours later, Felina was driving back to headquarters with the precious information in her pocket. Reaching her apartment, she stripped off her clothes, took a shower and dressed for bed then opened her laptop. Reaching the enforcer website, she entered her security password and began to dig.

She knocked off around two in the morning, tired and stiff but satisfied with the evenings work. She now knew where to find at least the leader and two of the members of the gang. The leader was in prison right this moment. After she got some sleep, she would be taking a trip out to Megakat Prison.

At ten o'clock, Lieutenant Felina Feral went to see the warden of Megakat Prison. Warden Riscar stared at the young she-kat in confusion.

"You say you need to interrogate the prisoner Randy Stripscar? May I ask for what reason?"

"I need to ask him about an incident that he was involved in when he was twenty years old. It's an old case. He and his gang at the time were arrested for beating a young sixteen year old tom, and robbing and terrorizing the local neighborhood," she told him.

Riscar frowned. "But they paid their debt for that crime, why do you need to bring it up again?"

"Because there is a suspicion much more happened during that beating of the young male. The tom in question is now suffering severe depression and has tried to commit suicide several times and all of it seems to stem from that one incident. I and others believe it may not have been just a beating that happened that night."

The warden leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers as he studied her for a long moment.

"I suspect you have a personal interest in what is a very old case.....know the victim perhaps?" He probed astutely.

Felina narrowed her eyes but didn't give anything away. "I've been asked to look into this by the doctor treating the individual. Finding out what really happened will aid in the treatment of this person," she said, lying just a little.....the doctor would need to know it she was certain...she just hadn't asked him yet but wasn't going to tell the warden that.

Riscar nodded. "A reasonable assumption and one I hope you can prove. Alright, Lieutenant, I'll have Stripscar brought into interrogation," he said, reaching for his phone and making a call.

A few minutes later, Felina was being escorted to the prison's interrogation rooms. The guard opened one of the row of doors down a secured hallway. Inside was a gray haired, tough looking tom with one ear that had been chopped in some fight in his past. His cold light blue eyes stared at her suspiciously.

The guard started to enter with her but she forestalled him. "No, I need to speak to him alone and make sure the surveillance sound is off as well. This is a high level security situation and no one is to be privy to the information but I and the prisoner," she told him flatly.

Eyes widened in surprise but the guard merely nodded. "Yes, ma'am. Turn off the sound, Charlie," he called aloud to the hidden security monitor. Looking back at Felina he said, "I'll be just outside the door if you run into any problems Lieutenant." He stepped out of the room and locked the door once he was outside.

Alone with the prisoner, Felina stared at the him as she took up a position against a wall and leaned with her arms crossed over her chest. Stripscar just stared back. As the staring contest continued for several long minutes, the old tom finally dropped his gaze first and squirmed in his seat.

"What do ya want with me, copper?" He snarled, hating that he'd backed down to a she-kat.

"I want you to go back in time for me," Felina said coldly. "I'm interested in your violent attack on a young sixteen year old tom in an alley on the night of the 14th of May, 1973."

Stripscar jerked his head up and stared at her in confusion. "What the heck do you want to know that for?"

"Just tell me what you and your gang really did in that alley!"

The prisoner hunched up and looked away. "Don't need to tell you that....paid for that I did with five years of my life behind bars.

"And here you are again.....behind bars. Apparently, you've never learned your lesson so you have to be taught over and over again. But you will tell me what happened that night. You may have paid for some of the things you did during that period of your life but the young tom is still paying for whatever you did to him that night," Felina hissed angrily. She moved suddenly and slammed her paws onto the table making a loud cracking sound that startled the tom and made him jerk in his seat.

"Tell me what you and the others did or we'll be here for hours until you do!" She threatened.

Though startled, Stripscar remained mulishly silent. As promised, Felina hammered him unmercifully for hours, not allowing him a break for water or the bathroom. The guard checked once or twice during that time but otherwise she was left alone as she badgered and even slammed the criminal against a wall once to make her point. Finally, after four grueling hours of interrogation, Stripscar admitted what they'd done that night.

Her face grim, her heart tight with pain and anguish though none of it showed in her hard expression, Felina left the prison and headed back to headquarters. The swing shift was just coming on when she made her way to Colonel Tigarrd's office.

The Colonel listened in grim silence as Felina told him what had happened to her uncle. His gut twisted and he could only guess how the young she-kat was feeling. It was the cruelest and sickest thing that could happen to anyone. No wonder the Commander was a mess now.

When she had finished, he sighed and rubbed his face. "I'm truly sorry Lieutenant. No one wants to learn a loved one had suffered something so horrific," he said in commiseration. "I heard from Dr. Woodard, the Commander's psychiatrist, a few hours ago. Commander Feral is still severely withdrawn and not communicating with anyone. The doctor hopes the drugs and rest will open him up by tomorrow. I've already informed Deputy Mayor Briggs about it."

Felina sighed, her shoulders slumping a moment in anguished sorrow, then she shook herself and straightened. "May I have his number, sir so I may tell him what I've learned?"

"Certainly but you must only use a secure line. We don't want anyone to hear this that shouldn't," he warned softly.

"Of course sir. May I use one now and have some privacy?"

The Colonel nodded. "Here use my phone and here's his number. I have a short errand to do anyway," he said gently, getting up from his desk and lightly patting her shoulder as he passed by her and left the room silently.

Heaving a sigh, she got up from her seat and went around to the other side of the desk and picked up the phone. She was connected to the doctor some ten minutes later. She told him who she was then told him what she had found out. Dr. Woodard thanked her for the information and promised to keep her informed on her uncle's condition when there was something to report.

She thanked him then hung up the phone. She felt drained and tired but she had one more person to speak with before being able to go home and rest. The Colonel returned and nodded at her.

"Did you reach him?"

"Yes sir, thank you. Now I have to brief Ms. Briggs in person. She has a right to know this as well but I know she won't tell the Mayor."

"She keeps secrets well and you are correct, she does need to know this. When you're done, get some rest Lieutenant. Your uncle would not be happy if you got injured from being too tired because you've been doing things on his behalf," he said wisely.

"Yes sir, I plan to crash as soon as I finish with the Deputy Mayor. Have a good evening, sir."

"You too Lieutenant."

She saluted then quickly left his office. Fifteen minutes later she was parking near city hall. She knew the Deputy Mayor would still be there as her work never seemed to allow her to leave at a decent hour.

"Ms. Briggs," she said quietly, slipping into the she-kat's office and closing the door behind her. She had noted the entire floor was already empty of employees with only Ms. Briggs still here as usual.

"Oh, Lt. Feral, I didn't hear you come in. What can I do for you?" Callie asked from her paper strewn desk, her body language showing how tired she was.

"I did some digging, Ms. Briggs, into my uncle's past and found out what had precipitated this crisis he's facing now," Felina began.

Callie sat back and sighed. "So something serious did happen?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I questioned one of the thugs that had attacked him when he was only sixteen. The leader is in prison and he told me that my uncle had been seen around the neighborhood and this thug had taken a shine to him. So one night when my uncle was walking home after ball practice, the gang pulled him into an alley and raped him. He was beaten when he tried desperately to escape. When all of them had finished using him, they left him bleeding and traumatized for his brother and father to find. He never told anyone what had really happened."

Callie gave a soft cry of horror. "Oh my god, no!" She sat forward and put her face in her paws. 'Poor Feral! What a horrible thing to have happen to him. No wonder he's so messed up!' She thought sorrowfully.

She looked up at Felina. She could see the anguish and sorrow shining from the poor young Kat's eyes. "I'm so sorry Felina.....no one should go through something like that. Dr. Woodard, Feral's doctor should be told about this."

"I know and I've already done so. Colonel Tigarrd gave me a progress report when I told him the same thing I've just told you. We three are the only ones who know besides the crud who committed it."

"Good! We'll keep it that way. Well, I hope the doctor is able to use this to help break into the shell the Commander has made around himself. We need him back," Callie sighed. "Thank you for telling me this even though I wished I hadn't needed to know."

"Yeah, that's how I feel too. Well, it's been a very long day and I need to get some sack time. Good evening, Ms. Briggs," Felina said heavily as she made ready to leave.

"You too, Lieutenant."

Felina nodded then turned and left. Callie turned to stare out the window at the gradually darkening sky as evening began to fall. She prayed Feral could be saved......she couldn't blame him for wanting to end his life. After enduring something like that then isolating himself, it was no wonder he was always unhappy. Shaking her head, she turned back to her desk and continued her work on the speech she had to get done for tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

**A SOUL IN TORMENT**

Chapter 4: Waking to a New Reality

_**Author's Note: As you can tell, this has departed a great deal from 'A Life Torn' and will continue to do so for the next several chapters.**_ _**Glad many of you are enjoying this updated version.**_

The third day after his attempted suicide, Ulysses Feral blinked awake and studied his surroundings. He wasn't in his apartment bedroom, he noted. The room was a soft blue color and padded wall to wall plus the floor he was presently laying on. He had been dressed in a loose fitting pj outfit of a darker blue. The sun was shining from somewhere above him.

It was quiet in here. He pushed himself to a seated position and took a better look around. A thick padded door with no handle on this side and a small observation window was straight ahead of him. Looking around, he found the sunlight was coming in through a long narrow window near the ceiling. The lighting for the room was recessed in the ceiling overhead. A monitoring camera was located in a corner of the ceiling not far from the door. In another corner, hidden by a small privacy wall, was the toilet with no lid and bolted to the wall.

His mind seemed numb as he didn't respond with anger at the thought of being locked up in a rubber room. Rather than dwell on that strangeness, using his training to help him focus, he calmly went through all the facts he knew up to this point.

Point one, he'd failed again, point two, someone had rescued him, point three, he was in a psychiatric unit but didn't know what facility, and point four, his emotions were numb which was most likely caused by the drugs he'd been given to keep him calm....SOP for someone who'd tried to commit suicide.

As he waited for someone to come see him, he let his mind wander over the questions he needed answered: who had rescued him, how many now knew he had a problem, where was he, Steele was now in charge so what had he been told, and how long was he going to be here?

Time seemed to pass slowly but the drugs held him forcibly calm. It was so strange to feel nothing when he should be having a temper tantrum about now or at least be pacing like a tiger in a cage....but no.....he just sat staring at the walls.....empty and waiting.

The door to his cell finally opened and in walked a handsome seal point Himalayan male wearing a doctor's standard uniform and carrying a medical folder, a gentle smile on his kind face. His blue eyes studied Feral thoughtfully as he walked into the room and the door closed behind him with a soft, muffled thump.

"Hello, Ulysses. I'm Dr. Woodard. I'm in charge of your care. How are you feeling?" He asked, coming closer then dropping gracefully into a cross-legged position on the floor in front of Feral.

Feral just stared at the doctor for a long moment. The doctor stared back quietly, patiently waiting for Feral to speak.

"Calm! And it's not something I would normally be feeling right now in this situation so I'm assuming the drugs you gave me is keeping me this way."

"You'd be right. Are the drugs causing you any other problems, like nausea, headache, cramping in your legs, or other symptoms?"

Feral thought about that for a long moment. It felt like his mind was trying to push through molasses to dredge up any kind of thought. He frowned.

"The only thing I can complain about is how hard it is to think," he said flatly.

"I can fix that. We'll lighten the dosage a little and see how that helps you. We had to use a much heavier dosage because you were so unresponsive when you arrived," the doctor said soothingly.

"How long has that been?" Feral asked slowly.

"Three days!"

"Where am I?"

"The Eagle's Nest Citadel, medical wing. Because of the sensitive data in your head, for security reasons you were transferred here from Megakat Memorial where you'd been taken after the incident. You will remain here until I determine you are no longer a threat to yourself. To that end, you and I will begin regular therapy sessions, starting now," Woodard explained.

Feral sat quietly and processed that information. Some part of his mind was railing in the background at how long it was taking him to just think but the drugs kept him from expressing that rising anger.

"Who saved me?" He decided to ask one of his many questions.

Woodard eyed him for a long moment before, apparently, coming to a decision. "The SWAT Kats and Deputy Mayor Briggs."

Even that news, which should have infuriated him, didn't elicit a reaction. He simply stored it away and asked another question. "How did they know?"

"Apparently, from what I'd been told, Razor had suddenly put together things he had seen you doing over the past few months and realized what was going on just in time to race to your rescue. Ms. Briggs had gone with them in hopes of talking you down, without success. You were lost already so was caught by a net. You'd disappeared inside your mind by that time."

"Seems odd for them to care at all about what happens to me," Feral mused rather dazedly.

"I couldn't answer that. I do know about your antagonism with them but they seemed truly worried over your welfare when they rushed you to the hospital so they must not really hate you as much as you think or they are just that concerned over any katizen that's in distress that they overlooked their animosity toward you," the doctor said shrugging his shoulders.

Feral just stared at Woodard, unable to process that little bit of information. It just didn't make sense for the SWAT Kats to have done that. Unable to deal with it, he simply shoved it aside and sighed.

"So, how many people know where I am and why?"

"Only, Colonel Tigarrd, your niece, Lt. Feral, and Ms. Briggs are aware of your exact location. The Mayor and the SWAT Kats only know you tried to take your life and your second in command is only aware that you're ill and nothing more. At the hospital, only the ER doctor was aware of why you were there. A news and security blackout has been initiated. As best as could be accomplished, your true state of affairs has been kept a closely guarded secret," Woodard reassured him.

Feral relaxed a bit at that information. He would have been humiliated and disgraced if his enforcers learned of his problem, let alone the city population. He wasn't happy, though, that Felina knew about it.

"Why was Felina involved?"

"Ms. Briggs felt your niece had a right to know immediately what was going on before she attempted to find out on her own and accidentally stir up trouble trying to locate you when you turned up missing. It turned out to be a good thing as it was she who found out what happened to you in the past that started this downward spiral into depression for you," Woodard told his patient, knowing if anything, this would get a reaction from Feral, if only a muted one.

"What? No.....she shouldn't have done that!" Feral shouted, the horror and outrage of his secret being known by his niece managing to break through the drugs somewhat. He didn't get up from the floor but his posture was showing signs of distress as was the anguished gleam in his eyes.

"She only wished to help us help you, Ulysses. Keeping this secret has poisoned your view on life, sending you deeper and deeper into depression. I'm guessing it has also prevented you from seeking any kind of relationship, hmm?"

Feral swallowed, pain and anguish shining from his eyes, his paws beginning to wring tightly together as he tried to deal with the doctor knowing what had happened to him.

"I don't want to discuss it!" He finally said, his voice tight and stressed.

Dr. Woodard eyed his patient quietly. "Easy Ulysses," he said softly. "If you want out of this place you will have to face this trauma head on. Ducking as you've been doing for years has only made you miserable and unable to function. We'll leave it alone for today. Tomorrow we'll begin working toward resolving the issue, so for now, just try and relax. I'll adjust your anti-depression meds and would you like a sedative so you can sleep tonight?" He asked.

Feral shook his head sharply. "I hate sedatives, they make me feel strange."

"Some can do that. There are many at my disposal and I'm sure we could find one that won't cause you distress but trying to tough out the nightmares is counterproductive to getting enough rest so you can think clearly in our sessions. I'll leave an order at the desk in case you change your mind. What sedatives have you taken before so I won't give you the same ones?"

"I don't remember," Feral growled, shutting down and turning away from the doctor.

"I'll check your records. It's only going on lunch time now, would you like to go eat with the population or in here?" Woodard asked as he got to his feet and prepared to leave.

Feral blinked at the change in subject. His anger and upset derailed for a moment as he tried to decide what he wanted to do. He looked around the room....did he want to be with other troubled patients or keep to himself here?

As if he had read his patient's mind, Dr. Woodard commented quietly, "there aren't but ten patients in here with you right now, if that helps your decision."

It did, as he felt his shoulders ease a bit. "I'd like to eat in the common room."

"Excellent. I'll let the staff know. I'll see you again tomorrow after breakfast. Have a quiet day and, hopefully, a peaceful night," Woodard said warmly, then knocked on the door which opened a few minutes later and he left.

Dr. Woodard hurried away from Feral's room and went into the doctor's staff room to sit and write up his notes. His colleague, Dr. Ferguson came in and placed his tray, from the cafeteria, down on the table and went to the vending machine in the room to get a drink.

Sitting back down he glanced over at his friend. "So, you saw our special guest, was he aware today?" He asked as he began to dig into his turkey dinner.

"Yes and I can see how he's been able to fool his peers and superiors for so long. He's able to compartmentalize his mind enough to function and be in charge but something has changed recently to cause him to lose his focus. I begin to suspect it's due to extreme loneliness. I have a firm suspicion that he's not been in a relationship in a long time or not at all," Woodard said with a sigh.

"Nothings worse than a high functioning mentally disturbed person. They are so very good at hiding their true selves and a bitch for us to ferret out the reasons for their depression. They are my least favorite kind of patient," his friend grimaced.

Woodard chuckled lightly. "And for me, they are a challenge and what keeps me doing what I do. Their minds are so very fascinating but their reasons for the severe depression are so horrific, that I have a driving need to help them get past that and get better. It's everything to me to see them being happy and productive once more. They are usually our most engaging people if it weren't for the hell their lives had become from a single incident."

"Better you than me, though, I do feel really sorry for the poor bastards. What's his story....abuse as a kitten......rape.......traumatic death of a loved one....near death experience?"

"Gang rape," Woodard said softly.

"Damn, that's shitty! This world is just full of sick, twisted monsters, isn't it? Even the omegas aren't that nasty though admittedly they are only interested in taking over Megakat City and making us their slaves," his friend snorted.

"So very true."

"So what's your game plan.....need help?"

"I have to get him to tell me what happened in his own words but he's closed up like a clam so I've got a lot of digging around to do first. I plan on working up to the incident by getting him to talk about his life in general. Though, I might take you up on the offer down the road. He's going to be a tough nut to crack."

"Just ask. I don't envy you. I hear he is very stiff necked and extremely strong willed. And the city is going to suffer very soon for his loss."

Woodard frowned. "Yes, I'm aware I've got a time limit but one can't rush these things. I just hope those fool omegas take a short hiatus on their world conquering schedule and allow me to get the city's defender back on his mental feet again."

"Good luck with that but I'll offer a prayer you get your wish," his friend said in amusement, finishing his lunch and saying farewell.

Dr. Woodard sighed again. It was imperative he get Feral healthy. The city needed him back in the seat. He knew all about Steele and wasn't happy about him as temporary Chief Enforcer. Finishing up his notes, he left orders at the nurses station about Feral's further care then headed for his office. He had a phone call to make.

"Colonel Tigarrd!" The tiger cross barked into his phone. "Ah, yes...Dr. Woodard and how is our Commander today?"

"Well awake and talking at least but dealing with his trauma....not so much yet. He's a very stubborn Kat as we both are aware and getting him to deal with something he'd rather not is going to be like trying to rid our city permanently of Viper," Woodard sighed.

"That bad, huh? Well he wouldn't be the commander he is if he was a pushover. But for his sake, I hope he's met his match in you. I have the utmost confidence you'll get through his shield wall," Tigarrd said encouragingly.

"Right now, I wish I had your confidence but I'm determined to do my best by him. So right now I can't give you a ballpark idea how long he's going to be here and I know that will make things hard for the enforcers and the city."

"Let me worry about that, Woodard. We know how to 'get around' our temp when we need to and it helps to have the Deputy Mayor on our side during this time even if she is still working with those vigilantes. However, I'll accept help from those two if it means keeping the city safe until Feral gets back."

"Very pragmatic of you Colonel. Tomorrow I'll try and get him to open up. We'll just have to see if his desire to protect his city is stronger than the trauma he's endured. Talk to you then," Woodard said.

"Till tomorrow and good luck, doctor," Tigarrd said then breaking the connection. He sighed and offered up a prayer that Woodard could get through Feral's very hard head before returning to his mountain of work. He made a note to contact Lt. Feral and give her an update as well as Ms. Briggs.


	5. Chapter 5

**A SOUL IN TORMENT**

Chapter 5: Digging into the Mind of a Troubled Tom

Lunch and, later, dinner had not been too bad. No one bothered him, there being only four other people in the room beside himself, and he was allowed to go the dayroom to watch TV for a few hours until he was shepherded back to his padded cell for bedtime. This he dreaded! For the first few hours, he tossed and turned, sleep eluding him and unable to get comfortable despite having been allowed a pillow and blanket.

As promised, his anti-depression medication had been lightened and that had allowed his mind to think more clearly which wasn't such a good thing after all because now he couldn't contain his anger and frustration at being here in the first place and he adamantly refused to even think about the reason he was here.

After a couple more hours of attempting to go to sleep, he flung his blanket off and got up. Staring around the darkened room, lights had been turned down to a soft dimness for sleep time, he felt edgy and irritable. Perhaps physical exercise would help, so he began shadow boxing the walls to try and tire himself out as well as keep up with his fitness regimen. It helped some but it also inflamed his anger even more and soon he was pounding with his feet and paws against the wall plus shouting and screaming.

The nursing staff watched him on their monitor constantly, making sure he didn't pass through his anger to something more dangerous like causing physical harm to himself. For the moment, they judged, Feral just needed to vent the anger, humiliation, and frustration that had built up but couldn't be expressed under the heavier medication.

So far, despite his screaming, the attacks on the walls were the controlled movements of a well trained soldier......nothing to be alarmed about and certainly not a cause for contacting the doctor as yet. So for the next few hours, they continued to monitor the tom's 'workout' and wrote up his behavior in his med file.

He had a lot of anger, frustration and fear built up so continued to rail at the walls, going so far as to fling himself at them over and over again until he collapsed in an exhausted heap on the floor. He lay there for some time until he felt cold. He crawled to the pillow and blanket and curled up under it and pounded the pillow into the shape he liked and closed his eyes.

A nurse glancing at the monitor, sighed in relief. Feral had been pounding the walls for more than three hours. He was glad the patient had finally succumbed to exhaustion and sleep. Here's hoping he managed a peaceful night.

Feral's slumber almost made through the night but sometime after three in the morning the nightmare that haunted his existence, slipped into his dreaming mind and woke him screaming and crying hysterically. A nurse saw his distress and quickly got the prescribed sleep medication then hurried into his cell with an orderly on her heels.

Feral never heard the door to his room open, still to lost in the powerful hold of his nightmare to hear anything outside himself. The nurse dropped to the floor, gathered him into her arms and began to rock him as she murmured soothing words of comfort, trying to coax him to waken and leave the terrible dream behind. It took a good five minutes to finally waken the hysterical tom.

The tom shuddered and heaved for breath while tears cascaded down his cheeks. The nurse continued to rock him and speak softly, waiting for some sign of awareness on Feral's face. Eventually he quieted then blinked his eyes open to stare up at the one holding him in confusion.

Before he could get upset anew by his helpless position, the nurse assisted him in sitting up though kept an arm against his back to steady him. The orderly offered a wet, warm cloth which she used to wipe his face off.

"Are you alright, now?" She asked gently.

"I.....what happened?" He asked, his voice hoarse from screaming.

"You had a very bad nightmare. Do you remember any of it?"

"No."

"Alright. It's still night time and you do need your sleep, will you accept a sedative now?" She asked quietly.

Feeling rung out and exhausted, he gave in and nodded. She smiled at him understandingly, knowing how hard it was for him to admit he needed help to sleep, then pulled his sleeve up and injected the medicine she had waiting in her pocket.

"Harry, bring him some water, please," she told the orderly who nodded and hurried off.

He was back a few minutes later with a water bottle. He twisted the cap off and offered it to Feral who took it gingerly and downed more than half of it. His throat soothed, he felt the room spin a bit, signaling the sedative was beginning to work. He finished the water and handed the bottle back to Harry with nod of thanks.

Feral shifted his body and laid down, the nurse making sure he eased down rather than hit the floor and insuring his pillow was there before his head made it all the way down. When he was settled and mostly asleep, she pulled his blanket over him and waited. After some five minutes, she deemed him completely out. Getting to her feet, she and the orderly left the room and looked Feral in once more.

"His demon is pretty strong. I've heard he's a tough tom and not someone you'd want to be on the wrong side of. To see him reduced to that by his past is hard to see," Harry sadly commented.

"Yes, I know but Dr. Woodard is the best there is for cases like these. If anyone can help the Commander....he can. Thanks for your help, Harry."

"You're welcome, Vicki. See you later."

She nodded and smiled then went to her station and wrote up her notes of the incident.

The drug allowed Feral a long restful sleep, unfortunately, it also made him sleep past breakfast and his appointment with Dr. Woodard. The departing night shift briefed him on Feral's serious nightmare and his acceptance of a sedative.

Dr. Woodard sighed as he reviewed the chart for Feral. "So, he's still sleeping then?"

"Yes, doctor. We felt it best not to try and wake him for breakfast since sleep was what he needed more. I've saved a tray for him when he does rise."

"Good, thank you. Well, I'll see my other patients first then and hope he wakes before I finish rounds. You have a good day, Vicki."

"You too, Doctor Woodard," she said warmly then left to finish up so she could leave for home.

It was the end of rounds by the time Feral began to stir. He felt more rested, though a touch hung over which he could attribute to the drug but he had to admit, the sedative choice Woodard had made hadn't had the nasty side affects he'd experienced in the past.

He slowly got up and used the toilet in the corner then sank back down onto the floor, wrapping the blanket around his legs to keep warm and sat staring at the wall in front of him. It was only minutes later, when the door opened and in walked an orderly with a tray of hot food, Dr. Woodard following close on his heels.

The orderly set the tray before Feral then left, closing the door behind him. Dr. Woodard sank into a cross-legged position in front of the tom and settled himself.

"Good morning, Ulysses. I heard you had a bad night. How do you feel now?"

"Better, thank you. The sedative worked okay and didn't leave me with more than a hung over feeling," Feral said quietly as he picked up a piece of toast and slowly began to eat.

"Good, then we'll continue with it use. You also spent some time trying to expel some of your anger and frustration last night as well.....did it help?"

"Some..."

"Was your anti-depressant sufficient.....did you have an adverse affects from it?"

Feral took a drink of his milk before answering. "It was okay. I feel less foggy and I didn't have any other things happen with it."

"Excellent, then please take your pill that's in that little cup there on your tray."

Feral grimaced but did as ordered then continued to eat. Dr. Woodard was writing some notes on his chart and allowed his patient to eat in peace.

When he had finished eating, Feral set the tray to the side and eyed Dr. Woodard warily.

"Alright, let's just have a talk. I want you to tell me a bit about your kittenhood."

Feral looked away and sighed unhappily. 'Here we go,' he thought bitterly. But knowing he wasn't going to get out of here until his problems were addressed, he began to talk reluctantly.

For over an hour the doctor coaxed as many facts and impressions he could out of Feral and stopping short of the incident that had changed the tom's life.

"Well, that was a good first session. You have the option now of getting some more sleep or going out to the dayroom for some activity. Which would you like to do?"

Feral felt wrung out emotionally but hated being locked in here. He frowned and asked, "can I rest a while then be let out?"

"Of course. Simply speak to the camera and state your wishes. The nursing staff are monitoring you and one of them will allow you out. Try to have a pleasant day and for homework, I want you to try and recall any relationships you had starting when you were a teen until now then we'll discuss them tomorrow," Dr. Woodard instructed him, smiling mentally at the sour look the tom bestowed him about the idea.

He rose to his feet, gave the tom an encouraging pat on the back before leaving the room, shutting the door behind him.

Feral sighed, grabbed his blanket and pillow and crawled to a corner of the room, using a wall to lean his body against. He lay there for some time ruminating before drifting off to sleep again.

He woke a couple of hours later, hungry and fairly rested. He sat up and looked over and up to the camera to ask, "may I come out please?"

A few minutes later, his door opened. "Hello, Ulysses. Lunch will be in an hour and a half and there's only six others in the dayroom," a gray and white stripped tom told him easily. His name tag identified him as an orderly named Jerry.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Let me know if you need anything." With that, Jerry left Feral along, leaving the door open behind him.

Getting to his feet, Feral stepped out of his room in his bare feet and padded silently down the hall toward the dayroom. The room had been done in earth tones and was warm and inviting. Circular wood tables and padded chairs were scattered about, the floor was covered with a soft rug of brown with sand colored rings decorating it, bookshelves lined one wall and were filled with books, magazines, some CD players and discs, a flat screen forty-two inch TV was attached to the wall where some couches formed a half circle....already occupied with two people watching a soccer match and on another wall a cabinet hung open with games clearly stacked on its shelves, four patients were already playing some kind of board games at two different tables.

He stepped into the room, avoiding the other occupants and walked across the space to the bay of barred windows that looked out over a well cared for garden, flower beds, benches under trees and even a barbeque near a patio with comfortable seating. Obviously, the patients were allowed outside when the weather was nice so they could enjoy the fresh air and sunshine.

Today, however, it was cloudy with a chance of rain possible. It fit in well with his rather gloomy attitude. A couch sat beneath the center area of the windows and no one was sitting there so he dropped down and turned, laying his arm on the back of it, then his head resting on his arm as he stared outside and thought about what the doctor wanted him to remember for their next session. Truthfully, he didn't want to think about how empty his life had been.

Relationships.....the doc had asked? Yeah, right! He truly had none worth mentioning. He'd only just begun dating when that.....he shuddered and veered away from that thought.....anyway, after that he stayed to himself and made no attempt to hook up with anyone. He pretty much did the same thing during college but during his academy training, it would have looked suspicious and brought him to the attention of the school psychiatrist if he tried to stay a loner so he went out on double dates with his fellow classmates but he never allowed them to go past the casual stage.

Rubbing his face against his arm, he felt a heavy weight in his chest. Loneliness had been his companion for so very long that he'd grown used to it, though he knew that wasn't normal but he couldn't get past the barrier in his mind that wouldn't allow him to get that intimate with someone so he gave up any dream of having someone he cared about in his life.

As for his personal family, he deliberately kept them at arms distance to keep them safe from his many enemies. He could never bear losing what family he had left; his brother, sister-in-law and Felina to some creep. Here he paused to smile a little.

Felina was the feistiest female he'd ever seen next to Ms. Briggs. No matter what he said, his niece would jump headlong into battle but then so did he so how could he complain, but it did scare him witless the near misses that had happened to her. He failed to recognize the same could be said of him as his family were forced to watch him risk his live repeatedly, sometimes recklessly.

Shaking his head violently, trying to clear his head. God how he hated this introspection crap! He just wanted to shove it to the back of his mind and pretend it wasn't there but, unfortunately, that bank was now full and it was spilling out into his day to day mind, interfering with his ability to function. This was exactly why he wanted to end his life......he was just too tired of dealing with all his pain and loneliness any longer.

Lunch held no appeal though it was filling and dinner he barely touched, his appetite departing due to his gloomy outlook. His watchers eyed him with concern as they could see he was sinking further into his depression. When he was told it was bed time, he picked up a book and took it with him, planning to read himself to sleep.

The book had successfully sent him off to sleep and no nightmare came to haunt, at least not until dawn was peeking through the overcast morning sky. His REM cycle had begone and was going fine until the familiar nasty voices began jeering him and the struggle to get away began.

He screamed and wailed sounding like a kitten being tortured and bringing the staff running. Two nurses sought to comfort the wildly thrashing tom but nothing they did seemed to help.

"Call Dr. Woodard!" One of the two barked to another nurse standing in the door.

He nodded and hurried to the nurses station. After speaking with the doctor, the nurse quickly obtained a sedative and returned to the room.

"Doctor says mildly sedate him to get him past this then keep him under close observation until he comes in," the nurse reported handing the filled needle to the nurse that had given him orders.

After the injection, the pair of nurses continued to hold and comfort Feral until the drug kicked in and quieted him. One remained by his side waiting for the doctor while the others returned to their duties.

Feral still wept like a kitten as the attending nurse continued to try and comfort him. Dr. Woodard arrived some fifteen minutes later.

"How is he?" He asked of the nurse as he entered the room and sank down beside her.

"He's finally stopped crying but as you can see he's still upset and the moaning has been nonstop," she reported quietly.

Dr. Woodard sighed a little. "Alright, let me take over now. Please write up your notes and leave them in my box. Thank you and have a good day."

"You're welcome, doctor," she said softly, gently laying Feral into the doctor's arms and leaving the room. Her shift was over and she needed to brief the next shift and get those notes done.

Feral felt drained and sad by the time he finally became aware of his surroundings again. Someone was holding him and he looked up to see the quiet face of Dr. Woodard. Startled, he pushed himself into a seated position, pulling free of the doctor's arms.

He frowned at his psychiatrist unhappily. The doctor simply stared back quietly, waiting for Feral to make the first move.

"What happened," Feral finally asked.

"You had another terrible nightmare. Can you remember any of it?"

Feral swallowed and turned his face away. The nightmare was rapidly vanishing, though he could still hear, faintly, the derisive laughter. He shuddered and answered in a barely audible voice, "no, it's gone now."

"Eventually, you'll have to face what your subconscious is hiding so well, Ulysses. You do such a good job of suppressing it that it can only come out when you are defenseless during the REM cycle of sleep. Until you're ready to let go of that past, we can only deal with everything leading up to it as well as your feelings of loneliness and isolation. Have you taken some thought on the homework I gave you?" Dr. Woodard asked gently.

Feral hunched his shoulders and grimaced, not really wanting to talk about it when he was feeling so raw right now. But he was not one to disobey an order and that was what it had been from Woodard.

Sighing he began haltingly to tell him about his failed attempts to try and have any kind of relationship and how he had avoided the scrutiny of his superiors by pretending to squire females on double dates.

"So you've not even figured out whether you favor males or females or both?"

He flinched reflexively at the blunt question and shook his head.

"This is something we will work on. You can't just ignore your very real need to be with someone. No Kat is an island, Ulysses. Alright, that's enough for now. I'm sure you're exhausted. I'll send in some water for you. Would you like a sedative to rest more easily?" Woodard asked as he got to his feet once more.

Feral started to shake his head in the negative then changed his mind, "okay," he whispered.

Dr. Woodard gently gave the big tom's slumped back a comforting pat before leaving the room.


	6. Chapter 6

**A SOUL IN TORMENT**

Chapter 6: The Slow Road to Recovery

Nightmares, lack of sleep, and grueling therapy sessions made Feral lose complete track of time. He'd been in the hospital over two weeks and he was still fighting his doctor over the buried memory.

Every time they got close enough to peel back a layer, he would shut down then the nightmares would come. Dr. Woodard patiently kept picking at the memory's edges. He also used various types of anti-depressants until he finally found the right one that allowed Feral to be calmer while dealing with difficult subjects and begin to get some sleep without disruption.

Finally, four weeks after being admitted, Feral was able to tell Dr. Woodard what had happened that fateful night. Unfortunately, it wasn't as cathartic as it should have been because he told the incident as if it happened to someone else instead of himself. Until he could actually feel the emotions and pain he'd suffered that night and accepted that it had happened to him, only then could he move past it, getting on with his life.

But, it was a start and they built on that start to move him to some form of normalcy that could get him out of here and living again. The anti-depressant helped him remain steady and calm, able to stand difficult subjects like relationships which was the subject Dr. Woodard introduced two weeks after Feral's breakthrough.

"Do you understand now that the attack caused you to build a defensive wall around your emotions so you wouldn't have to think about what had happened?" He asked his patient.

Feral sighed. "I used it as a defense mechanism to keep people away from me so I wouldn't be hurt again."

"That's correct. So now you need to let that wall go and allow people in once more. I'm told you used to be a loving individual until this happened. I don't expect you to drop the wall you've made that makes you an efficient and tough Chief Enforcer. I only want you to loosen up when you take time for yourself off duty," he advised. "I also need you to **make** time for yourself. Your job cannot be the only thing in your life. As you learned already, it wasn't sufficient to help overcome your loneliness."

"The way this city is under near constant danger makes that a hard thing to come by," Feral objected sourly.

"I'm well aware of that, Ulysses. However, for your mental health, you must take time for yourself....it's not a choice but an imperative for you," Dr. Woodard said firmly.

Feral could only sigh. The doctor's directive was going to be really hard to obey, but if he wanted out of here, he had to accept he would have to show progress in beginning some kind of friendship and/or relationship or simply socialize more when was home again.

It took another three weeks before Dr. Woodard was satisfied Ulysses Feral had come as far as he could take him in a hospital environment. It was time for the tom to make a go of it on the outside once more. One of the deciding factors that allowed his release was the fact Feral was finally getting a peaceful night's sleep, the nightmares coming less frequently and only if he was too stressed.

Feral had been officially diagnosed with PTSD and would have to stay on an anti-depressant for some time to come as well as submit to twice monthly therapy sessions. Dr. Woodard assigned a therapist, one cleared to be dealing with a patient with a high security level, by the name of Katrina Smoothstone.

She came to see Feral before he was released, managing one of his therapy sessions to see how they meshed together. He was pleased to find her non-judgmental manner and way of letting him talk without interruption made it easier for him to feel comfortable with her even when discussing very personal matters.

Dr. Woodard gave him his release papers on a Friday afternoon. The EIOSC Colonel Tigarrd arrived to escort the Commander from the Eagle's Nest Citadel, personally. Feral was surprised to see him.

"Sir, I'm your ride back to the city. If you'll follow me...." the colonel said politely gesturing toward the elevator.

"I certainly didn't expect to see you," Feral rumbled, a little uncomfortable.

"Were you told the particulars about how you got here and who knows about it, sir?"

"Yes, the first day I was here. I was taken aback that it was those SWAT Kats that had known and I was very unhappy about Felina being involved," Feral said flatly.

"I'm truly sorry about that sir, but I wasn't involved in that decision, the Deputy Mayor was. She has been kept up-to-date on your condition and is aware you are being released today. She asked that I tell you she is pleased that you've recovered yourself and welcomes you back," Tigarrd said lightly.

"After all the butting of head's we've done, I'm still amazed how supportive she's been of me since this happened. It will take a bit of getting used to," Feral muttered as the elevator decanted them on the flight line level.

"She's quite the she-kat, sir. We are fortunate it is she that is really the force behind the Mayor for all our sakes," Tigarrd said wisely, as he led the way to a chopper waiting for them, its blades moving slowly.

"You're certainly right about that," Feral was forced to agree. Conversation after that was impossible as they climbed aboard and took their seats, the engines roaring as the chopper revved up then took off for the thirty minute flight back to Enforcer Headquarters.

When they arrived, Felina and Sgt Fallon greeted him with brisk salutes and broad smiles.

"Welcome back, sir!"

"You look good, Uncle!"

He nodded at them then they all walked as a group through the hangar and into headquarters proper. In the elevator, Feral told them, "I've been ordered to go home and settle in before being allowed to go back to work on Monday." His grimace told them how much he hated that stricture.

"I've kept your apartment clean and just had it stocked with fresh groceries, Uncle. Your mail is stacked waiting for you on your kitchen table," Felina said warmly. "May I drive you home or do you wish to do that yourself?"

Feral thought about it a moment, "I'd prefer to drive myself home. Would you meet me there when you get off duty? I'd like to talk with you."

"Certainly, Uncle. Here are your keys. Your hummer is parked out front, I brought it in for you this morning," Felina said, handing him a ring of keys, wallet and badge which she had kept for safekeeping.

"Thank you, Felina."

"I'll just get off here. I'll be happy to brief you, sir, when you return to work on Monday," Colonel Tigarrd said as the elevator halted on his floor.

"Thank you, I appreciate that," Feral said easily. The colonel nodded respectfully then stepped out of the doorway to release the elevator.

"Is there anything I can do for you, sir?" Sgt Fallon asked.

"Tell Steele I'll be back on Monday and that I expect a report written that summarizes everything he's done while I was gone."

"Yes, sir. Have a pleasant weekend, sir," Fallon said.

Moments later the doors opened onto the lobby. Felina and Fallon left him for their duties and he headed for the doors leading to the street. Waving a paw in the air to acknowledge all the greetings from his enforcers that saw him and were relieved to see him back though confused that he was leaving again.

The hardiness of the yelled greetings made him wince. He hated to think what kind of mess Steele had caused to make his enforcers that relieved to see their commander back. Monday was going to be a hectic day he was certain.

Driving home felt odd but pleasant after so long being gone. He felt a little more alive than when all this happened, though he knew the anti-depressant was partly the reason but he couldn't begrudge how it made him feel. Gone was that deadly gloom that he couldn't shake off and had weighed down his spirit.

Arriving at his home, he tossed his keys on the table near the door and pulled off his coat. Dr. Woodard had thoughtfully provided him with a fresh uniform rather than civilian clothes to go home in. It had helped him feel more normal which was what he had intended, Feral was sure.

He walked into the kitchen to get a glass of milk and noted the huge pile of mail on his kitchen table. Grimacing unhappily, he sighed in resignation as he went on to get his milk before sitting down at the table, pulling his trash can to his side.

'Might as well get this done,' he thought, picking up the first of many envelops and opening it.

An aching back and tired eyes later, he had a filled trash can, a stack of bills that needed to be filed and a stack of magazines and newspapers to be read. He tied up the trash bag and set it aside to put out later and put in a new bag in the can before picking up the stack of magazines and papers, leaving the bills to be put away tomorrow.

He carried the magazines and newspapers out to his recliner, setting them on the coffee table before turning back to the kitchen to refresh his drink then returning to sit in his recliner. He flicked on the TV then grabbed the first paper off the top and began to read it.

Before he'd gotten more than four of them read, there was a knock on his door. He set the paper he was currently reading aside and rose to answer the door. Opening it revealed Felina, who grinned at him as he gestured her inside. He returned her relieved smile and the hug she gave him as soon as the door had closed behind her. The hug was brief, releasing him before he could be embarrassed by the contact, then stepped into his home, taking a seat on his couch next to the recliner.

"Would you like something to drink, Felina?"

"Sure, how about some water?"

"Fine," he said heading to the kitchen to get her a glass then walking back in and handing it to her before sitting down in his recliner.

"You look good, uncle....you really do. So, let me give you the low down of what's been happening while you were away," she said, immediately going in to report mode as she briefed him on the attacks by Viper, Turmoil, and Hard Drive. What Steele had done in each case, how much damage was done, etc.. and carefully avoiding even mentioning the SWAT Kats involvement. The report took over an hour with Feral asking pertinent questions along the way.

When she finished, he sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I really wish I could get rid of that fool. I'm sure my files and reports are a mess."

"Well, Sgt Fallon has done his best to prevent too much chaos, Uncle but you're right, you'll have a lot of work to do," Felina agreed, taking a drink of her water. She studied her uncle closely. He did look better but was he really. "Uhm, Uncle?"

He eyed her uneasily, she had that look in her eyes that said she was going to ask him something uncomfortable.

"Are you really okay?"

"As well as can be expected, Felina. I can function now and the anti-depressant is keeping me on an even keel emotionally. But I still have to deal with the incident in my past more fully to be considered on the real road to recovery and Dr. Woodard has insisted I go out and mingle socially more.....hopefully find someone to share things with," he said uncomfortably. He still didn't like talking about such issues with anyone but knew Felina would not let the matter go if he tried to avoid it.

"That's a good idea. I know of a few places you might enjoy going to that don't entail having to mingle with too many people at once. Just let me know and I'll give you the names," Felina said, relieved and happy her uncle was doing better.

"Hmm, thank you but I think I'll look around myself first," he demurred then eyed her more seriously. "You know I wasn't happy to learn you had dug into my past."

Her face flushed a little but her eyes didn't waver from his own. "I know Uncle but it was necessary. I was the only one who could have done it without anyone else being suspicious. Even the warden of the prison didn't know who I was doing this for. I just wished you had told someone rather than toughed it out on your own. My dad was beside himself to learn you'd gone this far but he wasn't surprised, just hurt that you couldn't bring yourself to tell him what had truly happened. It wouldn't have built up into such a nightmare for you now if you had."

Feral sighed and closed his eyes. So his brother knew what he had done too. Of course he did, that was how Felina learned the names of his attackers. He opened his eyes once more and gave Felina a sad look.

"I know that might have seemed a logical thing to do but Felina I was only sixteen and had been brutally traumatized. At that moment, I trusted no one and was so humiliated I couldn't bear for anyone to know. It was stupid but there it is."

"Yes I know, but it just seems so ......" she stopped and shook her head, '.....anyway I wasn't there and my feelings are getting in the way so I'll drop it. I'm just glad it's finally coming out and you can learn to deal with it. I hope you do find someone soon. Perhaps, that will help you move forward to a happier frame of mind much faster and easier."

"I hope it does to...we'll have to wait and see," he murmured. They fell silent for some minutes after that, wrapped in their own thoughts.

"Well, I better be getting home," Felina said, breaking the silence and rising to her feet then leaning down, giving him a brief kiss on the cheek. "Sleep well, Uncle and I'll see you on Monday."

"Thank you, Felina. Have a good weekend."

She took the glass to the kitchen then walked back through to the door and left, locking it behind her. He sighed and stretched. Checking the time he saw it was time for dinner so he took a break from getting back to his reading and went to the kitchen.

He made himself a delicious steak dinner with mashed potatoes and salad, pleased that the difficult talk with Felina hadn't ruined his appetite. It felt really good to make his own food and to be surrounded by his familiar things once more. He didn't mind being alone in this way. It was a relief after being under observation for more than two months with no privacy at all.

He read a few hours more before setting aside the rest for tomorrow. Felina had done a great job of keeping his home fresh and clean so he was very glad to go to bed in clean linens, no trace of his last night in here existed. He noted there was no alcohol anywhere and decided that was a good thing.

Taking a long hot shower, he luxuriated in the freedom to stay as long as he wanted and doing the same under the dryer. Feeling comfortably tired, he pulled the covers down and crawled into bed. Sighing, he buried his nose in his pillow and moaned with pleasure at the feel of clean sheets and his own mattress under him. It wasn't long before he was asleep and no nightmare interrupted his dreams.

Morning shone in through the partly open drapes, waking him. He looked around in confusion for a moment before sighing in relief as he realized he wasn't dreaming, he was truly home. Stretching, he shoved his bedding off and padded to the bathroom.

He spent the rest of the day finishing his reading, filing his bills, taking out the trash, and even going out for a drive to the beach. He parked his hummer in an isolated spot and simply sat watching the ocean for about an hour. It soothed his spirit to watch the waves washing up onto the shore and going back out, endlessly. He went back home after picking up some of his favorite takeout and settled before his TV. Tomorrow was going to be busy and he was looking forward to getting back in the saddle.


	7. Chapter 7

**A SOUL IN TORMENT**

Chapter 7: Starting Life Anew

Monday morning shone bright and he was up early, taking care with his appearance. His image in the mirror showed he was looked nearly normal except for the haunted look still lingering in his eyes and the loss of weight that made his uniform hang a little looser than it had.

'Time to get back to the gym and eat more,' he thought. 'The haunted look will just have to stay until I rid myself of the past completely.' He pushed away the dismal thought and focused on going to the job he once loved and hoped to again. However, returning to work after being gone more than two months was going to be a little intimidating.

Though he knew Steele had only been told his superior was simply ill, facing Ms. Briggs, who was fully aware of why he'd been gone made him uncomfortable as did the thought of running into the SWAT Kats. He knew intellectually that they wouldn't say anything hurtful about what had happen but he also knew their eyes would still show a watchfulness.....worrying if he was truly alright.

Knowing he was being watched so closely was something he would just have to suck up and accept even if it did make him feel he was being emotionally violated in some way. Dr. Woodard had told him he would feel this way and had said he would have to put up with it for only a little while. When the watchers felt he was okay, they would stop scrutinizing him so closely. Until that happened, he had to consciously not take offense over the over protectiveness these individuals were going to be with him.

That was easier said than done to his mind. But he didn't know if it even would happen until he caught them doing it so he needed to stop feeling like eyes were watching him until it was justified. So, with his shoulders back and his spine straight, he marched into headquarters briskly.

His desk was full of work as he knew it would be. In the center was the report he'd asked for. Sighing he sat down to read it, groaned at some of the stupidity his second thought was important then dug into the stack of work waiting for him. It wasn't until around two in the afternoon when Ms. Briggs came to see him. The meeting was a bit strained.

"Hello, Commander. It's good to see you back," she said with genuine relief and pleasure. He looked much better now than when she'd last seen him though a little thinner.

"Thank you, Ms. Briggs," he said uneasily. He didn't really know what to say to her.

"Am I making you uncomfortable? I'm sorry, Commander, I don't mean to. I can't change the fact that I was there nor what happened afterward but I promise no one knows the facts but myself and the SWAT Kats," she said sincerely, then gave a lopsided smile. "I know it doesn't help that they know as well but trust me, they were truly upset and glad they had been there when you needed it the most. His honor only knows you have PTSD and nothing more and I intend to keep it that way."

"I am a uncomfortable talking about this and especially that those vigilantes know about me but Dr. Woodard has told me to not duck the issue as it will only make it worse. Being open about what happened will help me recover faster but I'll admit to hating that idea a lot."

Callie gave him an understanding smile. "I can well imagine. I wouldn't care to air my problems either but I am glad you are doing better and are back to work."

"Humph, so I imagine if the reports I'm reading and what Felina briefed me are any indication, you've had a nightmare of a time of your own with that idiot. I'm truly sorry about that."

"It's not your fault and we did our best to keep your second from making things worse as best we could. Colonel Tigarrd did some under the table things to keep the enforcers from revolting due to Steele's heavy pawed management. It hasn't been pleasant and has made me truly appreciate what you have to deal with on a daily basis. I will never take you for granted again, trust me," she said rolling her eyes.

"Well, it's nice to know I'm appreciated at last. Tigarrd is a good officer and I'm glad he's under my command," he said, pleased to hear his command had been held together for him by such dedicated people though truly surprised by Ms. Brigg's unswerving support, something he'd not really had before.

Though the reason for his absence was awful, it had a silver lining after all. But he did have a question to ask of her now even though it was a subject he'd just assume stay ignorant about, however **not** knowing was just as bad so he prepared himself for the answer.

"Ms. Briggs....I....could you tell me exactly what happened that day when I....you know...." he said with difficulty.

She sighed and eyed him carefully before nodding her understanding of his need to know. "The SWAT Kats came to me that day, greatly upset. Though it had taken him a bit to see it, Razor had recognized the warning signs you were giving off and realized that you were truly in real distress and surmised your failure with Dark Kat would goad you into taking matters into your own paws. They enlisted my assistance since I could find out from the enforcers your whereabouts without raising suspicions and that I knew your home address if needed.

When we learned you had not gone to work and were home, T-Bone flew us swiftly to your apartment building where he hovered high so you wouldn't see them then Razor used his x-ray machine and found you on the ledge outside your window.

They took me down to your building and Razor got me into your apartment. I tried to talk you down but you were already closed off from everything and very drunk. I was horrified when you dropped the bottle you were holding and simply fell after it without making a sound. The SWAT Kats were waiting and watching in their jet just overhead and caught you in a net before you could hit the ground and drew you up inside quickly before anyone could have seen you. It was fortunate no one had seen your fall in the first place.

They returned to the roof and pick me up then flew to the hospital. I spoke to the doctor on duty and had an immediate news blackout instituted while the hospital administrator had you put in a private room with limited access and guarded....something they do for important people anyway.

After insuring you were secure and safe, the SWAT Kats returned me to city hall where I briefed the Mayor then went to Enforcer Headquarters to personally brief your niece. It was she that warned you needed to be in a more secure place due to security concerns and that's how Colonel Tigarrd became involved. He quickly handled your move from Megakat Hospital to your secure military facility and took care of the security problems incurred by your stay in the hospital.

From then on, he kept me informed of your status and, I in turn, kept the Mayor from trying to find out more but it was hard since he was beginning to demand when you would be back as even he could see how bad Steele was. I did everything I could to prevent anyone knowing what happened to you so that you could return without any stigma clinging to you that would hamper your recovery. When I was informed you were to be released, only then did Felina inform your assistant, Sgt Fallon what the true skinny was.....and don't worry the why was never spoken, only the attempt was mentioned to him so he could keep an eye on you and keep others from bothering you," she finally finished her report, eyeing him carefully to see his response.

Feral's mouth had gone dry at her description of his behavior on that terrible day. A distinct feeling of bile rising to his throat was making itself felt and he swallowed convulsively to force it back down. 'Kat's alive! Had I really been that far gone?' He thought with a shudder.

Callie noticed Feral going pale and a shudder rippling over his body as she reacted swiftly to steady him with a paw to his arm, asking worriedly, "Ulysses, are you alright?"

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, his eyes closed, he answered honestly, "I'll be okay. I....it's just shocking to hear how out of it I was. Depression had me by the throat so badly I was no longer aware of anything but the heavy weight making everything seem hopeless. Thank you for being so discreet and doing all you could to protect my reputation. I'm still stunned that those two would do that for me as well. I have a hard time understanding why they did it at all."

"I'm sorry you were in such distress, Ulysses, and I'm angry at myself for never noticing it. As for the SWAT Kats, they may be vigilantes, but they are good toms and they care about everyone in this city. Just because they don't do things the way you would prefer and dance on the wrong side of the written law doesn't make them evil or uncaring," she said quietly, gently caressing his arm to comfort him, surprised a little that he allowed it.

He shook his head. "You couldn't have known, Callie so don't be angry at yourself...I was far too good at hiding it and I never thought of those two as evil,..... just too wrapped up in their own glory but this does make me see them in a different light. It still makes me feel wrong that they know something so personal about me and that they saw me at the lowest point in my life," he said, a bit distressed by that fact.

"I know. You have a certain reputation you like to maintain and they know that too. I promise they won't breathe a word about it and you can resume your animosity without a hitch even with the knowledge they have about your troubled past. They know you need that shield to be the enforcer you are and to retain the respect of your enforcers."

Feral blinked at her in astonishment. "You sure you are in the right field, Callie. I swear you sound just like my therapist."

Callie blushed and shrugged her shoulder, stepping away from him since she could see he had recovered his equilibrium. "Actually, in my line of work you do have to know a little psychology to deal with the people I do regularly. No different from your job really."

Feral managed a small smile and his fears and upset eased. "You are right about that. Truly, I do appreciate what you've done for me as well as those pains in the tail. I guess I really didn't want to leave.....I was just hurting so badly inside that I couldn't see anything else but that's eased up a lot now."

"I'm so glad to hear that and I'm thinking the anti-depressant you're on is also helping," she said knowingly.

"Yeah, that to."

"So you're starting to see a therapist as well?"

"Yes...I'll be going twice a month."

"Good. Well, if there's nothing else you want to ask me, I'll be getting back to my mountain of paperwork that matches yours," she said, lightly giving him a small smile and a gentle pat to his arm.

"No, you've answered everything I needed to know, thank you."

She nodded and left his office. He had wanted to throw up when she first told him what he'd done and how he'd behaved but after talking a bit more with her, his stomach had eased and he felt better about it all. She truly had done a lot for him that now had allowed him to return to work as if nothing had happened. That didn't mean things were perfect. He still had to deal with his past and make connections with people socially.

'One thing at a time,' he murmured to himself as he returned to his desk full of work. Katrina, his therapist, had warned him that he had a bad habit of burying his emotions and hiding his troubles behind a gruff exterior. His candid conversation with Felina and now with Callie were his first kitten steps toward opening up more as his therapist had insisted he do. It did feel a little more freeing but that didn't mean he was that comfortable doing it yet.

A couple of hours later, Colonel Tigarrd came to see him. They talked a little and the colonel corroborated what Callie had told him as well as adding the care that had taken to ensure his privacy at the citadel.

"Thank you for your discretion and efficient handling of my case," he said warmly, shaking the colonel's paw as he saw him out of his office when they were through talking.

"You are very welcome, sir. I am just glad you're back in that seat....it's been really tense around here."

"So I've noticed. Thanks for keeping the lid on that as well. I'll do my best to clean up the mess and get things rolling normally again."

"I have no doubt you will, sir. Its already more relaxed in the ranks since I came in. I cruised around to take the building's pulse as it were and found it coming back to normal from just you being here."

"Well that certainly warms my heart that I was that badly missed but I promise not to let it go to my head, " he said, making a small joke. "Have a calm rest of the day then."

Colonel Tigarrd chuckled lightly, as he said, "You too, sir!" With that, he left to return to his own office.

Privately, he was pleased and surprised to see the rumors he'd heard were true. The Commander had lightened up a bit and wasn't as stiff ast he'd been before the incident. He had no doubt therapy and an anti-depressant was the main reason for the altered behavior but it didn't disturb him as much as he thought it would.....as a matter of fact he found it made the Commander more approachable.

Feral turned away from the door and made for his desk.. 'Fate was certainly looking out for me when all this happened,' he thought, shaking his head as he sat down and prepared to get back to work again. Though there was enough to keep him till well after midnight, he had to obey the orders he'd been given to not stay very late and to socialize or rest. Tonight he chose to work perhaps an hour or two overtime then eat out, go home and vegg out. As first days went, this one had not been that bad.


	8. Chapter 8

**A SOUL IN TORMENT**

Chapter 8: Meeting Someone New

Author's note: Wow! This is now officially nothing like 'A Life Torn'. I had no idea I would expand it so much. The original story I can see now was very truncated with hardly any emotion to it. What a difference practice can do for you. This is now a totally separate story of its own and I hope you are enjoying it as much as I am writing it.

As he stepped into the club, he felt uncomfortable. He'd not gone out like this since his first years as an enforcer and certainly not a gay club. This was his fifth outing and the first in a gay venue. The others had been mixed couples clubs but those had left him irritable and unhappy, especially all those fems hanging on him every time he turned around. It had felt wrong.

So here he was trying the other side of the coin. He looked around as he headed for the bar set on an upper level from the dance floor and with more quiet table seating surrounding it. He ordered a seltzer water, avoiding alcohol for the time being....it didn't mix well with his meds and leaned his back against the bar to people watch.

There were a lot of good looking males around and he found himself actually relaxing. 'Guess I'm more comfortable around males then,' he sighed, resigned to being gay. At least that answered his gender preference question. Katrina would be pleased he was no longer divided on the issue when he saw her for his next session.

However, that didn't mean he was completely comfortable. He still hadn't been able to open to very many people and certainly not strangers. Not meeting the eyes of all the males cruising for a hook up, he kept his focus on the dancers for a bit. He knew he wasn't really making the effort he should in actually speaking to someone but he thought he was at least trying by coming to places like this in the first place.

Watching the big tom from across the room, Forry Stanhope could see the poor guy was nervous and tense like he really didn't want to be here but was doing his best to pretend he was. The dark tom was rather handsome in a rugged sort of way and had a really powerful built by the way his muscles were pulling his yellow polo shirt tight. His black jeans hugged a narrow set of hips and he had a really large packet that made a lot of the males in the room stare and drool but the guy's body language made it plain he wasn't interested in what they were seeking so they left him strictly alone.

Which meant, he might be open to some simple conversation. Normally, a muscle bound tom was not Forry's ideal partner but something about this guy pulled at him, perhaps it was the tom's lost look that attracted him, he wasn't certain but he decided it was worth a look at least. Coming to a decision, he began to weave his way through the crowded club, slowly approaching the male.

The tom had turned to his side and was facing the door, maybe contemplating making an escape from this place, when Forry slipped in behind him and tapped him gently on the shoulder. The tom whipped around in startled reaction making Forry back up in surprise at the rather aggressive reaction.

"Uh, hi....I was uh watching you from across the room and thought I'd come over and chat with you. My name's Forry Stanhope. I don't think I've ever seen you in here before but now that I can see you up close, there's something familiar about you....." Forry trailed off as the dark tom continued to stare at him suspiciously. Where had he seen this face before? Forry wondered. It was starting to bug him now.

The huge kat continued to eye him rather warily but finally did answer in a deep baritone voice which clicked in Forry's mind. "Never been here before and thought I'd check it out."

Forry almost couldn't get his voice to work as his mind supplied the answer he'd been searching for. 'Oh my god! It's Commander Feral!' He thought in shock.

He'd seen the imposing Chief Enforcer around the court house often. What was he doing here? He never dreamed the tom could be gay but then he didn't recall the guy being associated with anyone in the first place. Realizing he was just staring rudely, he shook himself and quickly apologized for his behavior.

"I'm sorry that was rude of me to just stare like that. I just realized who you were and was stunned to see you in a place like this. I'm used to seeing you where I work, never realized you were gay and I must say I'm rather pleased about that fact," he said, smiling nervously.

Feral startled badly as he gaped at Forry. "You've seen me around your work place.....are you an enforcer?" He asked, feeling suddenly sick inside.

"Oh no, sir," Forry laughed at the very idea. "I've just seen you around the court house. I'm a lawyer."

Feral felt a wash of relief pour through him. The idea the guy might have been an enforcer and had seen him in such a place had worried him for a moment. Not that he was concerned about being found out to be gay but the fact he out ranked everyone and couldn't date any of them for that reason was a cause for concern. Knowing this guy was a lawyer made things less complicated from the start. His heart was easing down in his chest from its leap to his throat a moment ago.

"Really, what kind of lawyer are you," he managed to ask just to make conversation, sipping his drink to ease his stomach.

"I handle gay rights issues, do pro bono work for the Gay Rights Coalition, and act as an advocate for those charged with a crime who are gay," Forry said matter-of-factly, feeling more relaxed around the tom.

Feral's eyebrows raised. 'Well, isn't he something?' He thought, finding the male more than a little interesting now and liking the tom's scent that drifted to his nose. "Impressive. Must keep you very busy?" He asked more easily.

He studied the tom as Forry answered his question. Forry was a polite and very articulate person and wasn't hard on the eyes either. Feral idly catalogued the tom's statistics as if he were a suspect: a male in his mid forties or older perhaps, five ten, two hundred thirty pounds, an interesting brown tabby color with black stripes and copper eyes, wearing a nice pair of dark blue slacks, a powder blue dress shirt opened at the throat, worn pair of brown loafers and he had a pleasant tenor voice with an accent Feral couldn't place.

Noticing Feral was looking him over, Forry responded with a small shy smile and said, "It does a bit but it's rewarding work and I truly enjoy it. I suspect we both work endless hours too, though your job is far more dangerous than mine. I always thought of you as very brave.....facing down those vicious omegas time after time. Our city is lucky to have you as our Chief Enforcer and I'm not just smoozing you.....I mean what I say sincerely. This city could have already been destroyed many times over by now if it weren't for your leadership."

"Well, thank you for that vote of confidence. However, I don't think your job is completely free of danger.....seems I recall a few lawyers learning the hard way not to trust some of their clients as they picked themselves up from the floor of a cell rubbing a jaw that had been slammed by a client not so happy about what they'd been told. You'd have to have a lot of courage to stay and deal with it. I salute you for your bravery too!" Feral said with a small smile, raising his glass to the tom.

Forry blushed at the compliment. "Well thank you, sir. I guess you're right about that. I have had my share of busted chops from unhappy clients but not too many, thankfully or I'd begin to look like a prizefighter," he chuckled.

Feral laughed as well. They continued to talk and before Feral knew it, a few hours had passed as he and Forry chatted at a table they had managed to snag. They shared stories about their jobs and moved into their likes and dislikes about food then books and on to movies. He was amazed at how comfortable he felt in the other tom's company, how much he enjoyed talking to him, and how much he loathed the need to leave but it was getting very late and they both had work the next day.

They traded phone numbers and made plans to get together soon for dinner. Humming happily to himself, Feral drove home in a happier frame of mine. 'Wow! I've made a friend, how incredible is that!' He thought, very proud of himself. 'Wait until I tell Katrina about this."

Over the next few months, Feral found time to be with Forry either for dinner or catching a bite to eat at the courthouse whenever either found themselves there at the same time. They were growing closer but the relationship remained strictly platonic for now. Forry seemed not to be upset by this at all much to Feral's relief.

Forry was equally relieved. What Feral didn't know yet was Forry had come out of a relationship where his lover had betrayed him. He promised himself, if he met someone new he would take it slower and make friends first before pursuing something deeper. He didn't know that this fit Feral's needs very well, all he did know was his friend seemed okay with this arrangement as well.

Katrina was pleased the Commander had found someone not anxious to be lovers but friends for now for whatever the reason. It gave the dark tom much needed time to learn how to be friends and enjoy that aspect of a relationship rather than be plunged immediately into a sexual one.

During their next session after he and Forry had been friends for three months, Katrina tested the waters of the friendship and how Feral was handling it.

"Hello, Ulysses. You seem to be in a good mood today," she said, her eyes questioning as he took his usual seat in her warm and comfortable office located some five miles from Enforcer Headquarters.

"Oh, I just had lunch with Forry. He's fun to be around, serious when it calls for it and funny when he thinks I need a pick up to make my day easier. I really like him, Katrina," he said, blushing a bit at admitting it aloud for the first time.

"I'm very pleased to hear that, Ulysses. Having friends makes life so much more bearable and the more intimate the friendship the more the sharing. Have you two crossed the barrier from friendship to something more?" She asked carefully.

Feral sat back and thought about it a moment. "Well, I'm not sure. I get vibes that he feels more for me than just friendship but he's not made a move toward that nor have I."

"Ahh, so you've thought about it?"

Blushing, he nodded.

She smiled warmly. "There's no hurry, Ulysses. If it happens it will do so of its own accord when the time is right for both of you. I'm glad he's not in a rush as it gives you time to get used to the way you feel about him and be able to act accordingly. It should be fun not serious when you do come together."

"That would be nice," he said, still feeling a bit embarrassed talking about it.

"Have there been other emotions you've experienced around Forry?"

"Ah, well I was angry one day and vented about it with him and he listened then made some comments and made me feel better, calming me down. Not long ago, I was able to do the same for him. It felt really good. Now don't get me wrong, I have done that for fellow officers and peers before but this was just very different from that."

"Yes, because it's someone you are beginning to feel very comfortable revealing your true self to and not because you're the boss or dealing with a fellow colleague. You can be open about your frustrations, sorrows, anger, hopes and dreams as well as sharing the good things that happen in your life and not be judged.....only accepted, allowing you to return the favor the same way, holding nothing back. It's what makes a healthy relationship," she said, very pleased with his progress.

"The only thing I haven't been honest with him about is my PTSD. Should I tell him?" He asked, concerned.

She studied him a moment before answering. "Only if you feel comfortable talking to him about it. You can tell him as much or as little as you feel comfortable with.....the decision is yours."

Feral sighed and nodded. "I'll tell him that I had been severely depressed recently and am now on medication. That the PTSD has to do with something in my youth and that I'm learning to deal with."

"That's good enough, if that's all you're comfortable with sharing and I'm very pleased that you've come far enough to be able to do that much. If your relationship becomes more perhaps, you will finally be ready to tell it all. We'll see. That's it for now," she said warmly, ending the session.

He smiled and nodded, pleased about how well this session went and anxious to speak with Forry about this part of his life.

The opportunity came up a few days later as they went out to their favorite place for dinner. He made sure they were given a private corner and waited until they had finished their meals, keeping conversation on the day's events throughout it. When they were enjoying dessert, he brought up the troubling subject.

"Forry, I have something very serious to tell you," he began quietly.

His friend eyed him quietly. He could see this subject whatever it was wouldn't be pleasant. Sipping his glass of wine, he nodded his head and murmured, "I'm here for you Uly, go ahead."

This was much harder than he'd expected. He drank some of his own small glass of wine to give him time to settle himself first.

"I was recently diagnosed with severe PTSD. I'm under the care of a therapist and using an anti-depressant. It's nothing that happened recently but something that happened when I was a teen. I was so badly depressed that I had tried to commit suicide a few months ago. I've only been back to work since just before I met you," he finally managed to say and was surprised that he'd been willing to admit to more than he'd planned to say in the first place.

Forry stared at Ulysses in stunned disbelieve at first then sorrow. He reached over the table and placed his paw over the dark tom's. "Oh, Uly, I'm so sorry that happened to you. It must be something truly bad to rack you up that much. Your job is stressful enough without something from your past joining the party. I'm glad someone saved you or I would have been deprived of the best thing I've had in a long time," he said softly so no one would overhear them."

Feral blinked surprised tears back and swallowed a sudden swell of emotion brought on by Forry's wonderful understanding and his declaration that he was very grateful he had lived so he could be his friend. It went a long way to making him feel good about himself and his decision to live after all. It was more than he'd ever dreamed he would get and it felt soo wonderful. He'd really hit the jackpot finding this incredible tom.

Taking a hasty drink to force down his overwhelming emotional response to Forry's warm understanding, he said with heartfelt sincerity, "you can't know how much that means to me, Forry. I've been alone for a very long time and never formed any friendships due to what happened to me. I've only just come out of my shell so to speak and it helps so much that you understand and are willing to look past that and still want to be friends with me."

It was Forry's turn to swallow down a sudden desire to tear up. Poor Uly, to have been so alone and fighting a devastating depression by himself and losing made him feel so badly for the tom sitting before him.

"Well, I'm here now and I'll be your shoulder to cry on when you need it, an ear to listen, and my arms are available for a good, tight hug. Those are the things I can provide your poor battered spirit and make you feel much better. I'm glad you're receiving treatment. So many I've seen in my job haven't and the consequences are heartbreaking," he murmured comfortingly, taking Uly's paw and lacing their fingers together.

Feral gave him a warm smile of intense relief, gripping the fingers and enjoying the closeness they'd just achieved between them.

"Since we're revealing a few secrets here, let me tell you one. It's no way as devastating as yours but......anyway, I was in a long term relationship which fell apart a month before I met you. Brett was supposed to be my true love but I apparently wasn't his and he betrayed me many times with others. He felt we should be in an open relationship but I hadn't agreed to that so we broke up. We'd been together two years. I was horribly heartbroken and was depressed. Wondering how could I have missed the clues that would have told me what he was up to but I didn't and paid for it in a month of misery and sorrow. You were like a breath of fresh air.....you wanted friendship and that's what I wanted to. If it becomes something more, I'm willing to allow that to happen when we're both ready and want it together," he said softly, his throat tightening up as he remembered that earlier betrayal.

Feral squeezed their paws. "I'm sorry that person treated you so badly. You're such a good person and he had no right to use you like that. I'm glad he's moved on or I wouldn't be as happy as I am to have such a wonderful person as you in my life."

Forry grinned around his pain and swallowed as he tried to regain control of himself. "Okay, I think we better stop talking about such unhappy things or we'll both be in tears," he said in warm humor.

Feral gave a weak chuckle, still holding Forry's paw in his, not wanting to let go yet. "I agree, another subject and some ice cream, perhaps?"

Forry couldn't help but laugh suddenly. Uly looked so endearing as he tried to change the subject, saving them both a little embarrassment. "Agreed, a fine idea!"

The evening ended on a high note after that and as they were saying good bye near Feral's vehicle, Forry's was parked right nearby, they stole a moment to hug and it seemed so natural to kiss at that moment that neither resisted the urge. It was sweet and gentle....just a light touch of lips.....but it promised so much more. Nuzzling each other's face a moment longer, they finally parted for the night, whispering soft farewells.


	9. Chapter 9

**A SOUL IN TORMENT**

Chapter 9: Telling a Troubling Secret

A couple of weeks since their first kiss, Feral was bringing his therapist up to date. "I've not had a nightmare since leaving the hospital and being with Forry keeps the blues away especially after a really bad day at the office. I'm pleased to say my temper has been so even, that my officers have been more relaxed around him as well," he said proudly.

Katrina smiled at that, "You have a right to feel proud about that accomplishment, Ulysses. You've come a long way and Forry sounds like the best thing that's happened to you. Things are still going well between you even after he learned about your problem?"

"Oh yes! He's been nothing but solicitous of me and offered to be a shoulder to cry on if I needed it. He's just wonderful," he said, nearly giddy with his good fortune.

She smiled and thought 'what an image he makes of new love and it looks good on him,' she thought. 'I really hate to burst his good mood, but this can't be delayed.' "I'm pleased to hear that and I truly hope it continues. You deserve it."

"Okay, now we have to discuss some more serious things today. Dr. Woodard and I have been trading notes recently. Though he is not of the same mind, he eventually agreed with me that you should not be taken off your meds."

Feral's face fell. He'd hoped after all this time, he could finally be removed from taking the anti-depressant.

"I know, you really hate taking meds in the first place but here me out, please. The reason for my caution is you still haven't dealt with the demon in your past. Until you do, it still can make a nasty appearance when you least expect and I very much suspect your job will be the reason it may happen. So, even though I'm really glad you're now in a relationship, I'd like to keep you on your meds," she told him as gently as she could.

Feral grimaced and sighed. "I guess I can understand that. Wouldn't want to be off them and then get hit with a vicious nightmare. I don't understand why it's so hard for me to just let that go but I can't even go near it still," he said, a little defeated.

Katrina reached out and gently squeezed his paw, comfortingly. "Trust me, Ulysses. When you are truly ready you will let it out. You've held it in for a very long time so it may take quite a while for it to be expunged. Give it time," she said encouragingly then sat back and eyed him seriously. "This next subject is going to be much more sensitive but I need to address it now before it can become a problem later. Have you and Forry had sex yet?"

He squirmed a little at the nature of the blunt question. "Uh, no.....except for some kissing and being close, we still haven't been...uh...intimate."

"But it's obvious to me it won't be much longer by how serious your relationship is becoming. The reason I'm bringing it up, is becoming intimate may trigger a return of your nightmares. I know you've already told him you have PTSD but he is still in the dark about what caused it. The sex act itself could very well be the trigger for a vicious flashback. Because of this, if you want to continue this growing relationship, you may have to be more forth coming about what happened to you, " Katrina said grimly.

Feral recoiled and went very pale.

"Easy, don't panic! This is why I needed to speak with you on this subject, because I'm fairly certain this could happen. My suggestion is you tell him you've been raped but not go into the details. Do you think you could do that?"

He swallowed, his eyes roving the room nervously before whispering, "I think so."

"Good! If you can manage that much I'm certain Forry will know how to deal with it. As a crime lawyer I'm sure he's had some dealings with this type of thing with his clients. Giving him fair warning of what had happened to you, will prevent him from being blind-sided when you flashback to the event one night when you two are together. He'll be more prepared for your reaction. It will still upset him but at least he won't be shocked or surprised."

Feral gave a huge breathe and let it out slowly to calm himself. "Okay, I can see the need and I'll speak to him about it when I see him next. I certainly don't want to scare him."

"Excellent, this will put you closer to dealing with your past and that's what you want, Ulysses. I know its scary but you will feel so much better when it finally out."

"I know. I hate keeping secrets from Forry but I just can't seem to let this one go."

"I understand. Some secrets are very destructive to a healthy relationship and this one you keep is like the elephant in the room. Fortunately, from what I've learned about Forry, he won't be scared off. What he will be is a strong soul that will help you through this safely. Now that's not to say there aren't secrets you have to keep. There are professional secrets you both hold that neither of you has any business knowing and have no reason for feeling guilty about keeping but those are the only secrets that should be kept from each other. So the sooner this nasty one gets released and brought into the light, the sooner you'll be able to move on and enjoy life more," she told him firmly.

"I understand and I promise to keep trying."

"Good, now one more thing and we'll end this session. Are you afraid, in any way, about having sex with Forry?"

Startled by the question, Feral had to change mental gears as he was still upset by the previous subject. In truth, he hadn't even thought about that yet but realized that was the direction he and Forry were heading which was why she asked about it.

"I don't really know. Except for....what happened to me....I've never had sex before," he said nervously. "I do know I like being with him and the kissing and holding hasn't sparked any alarms in me....quite the opposite as a matter of fact but for the act itself, I just don't know," he answered honestly.

"Let me make this perfectly clear to you, Ulysses. What happened to you was not love making but brutal rape. When you experience what is supposed to be the greatest expression of love two kats can have for each other, you will know the difference and Forry has come across as a very caring person so you should have no problems. It should be the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to you in your life if done right. For now just let things happen as they will. The more relaxed and easy you are with Forry the more the experience will be a good one for you both," Katrina smiled warmly.

"Okay," he said in a small voice. This session hadn't been very pleasant and he was left totally wrung out after she'd released him. Too upset to go back to work, he called Sgt Fallon and told him he was taking the rest of the day off, which really wasn't that much since it was already nearing two o'clock.

Worried more than Katrina had wanted him to be, he called Forry on his cell and begged to see him if he could get free. He was in luck.

"I can get away, Uly. I've just closed a case and don't need to jump into any others for a bit," his friend said and hearing the distress in Ulysses' voice, he suggested, "want to meet at Fogerty's?"

"No, I need somewhere more private. What I've got to say is upsetting and I want us to be alone," Feral said tightly.

Forry paused to think a moment. He was surprised and concerned, wondering what had upset Uly so much. Thinking quickly he came up with the perfect solution. Neither of them had been to the others home and didn't want to do that just yet because it could lead to things they weren't ready for so he told Uly of a neutral and safe place they could meet. Relieved, Feral agreed and they hung up after promising to meet in thirty minutes.

Forry drove his Buick to the deserted point and parked. He love this spot. The sight of the ocean had always been soothing to him and he'd been amused and pleased to learn that it was the same for Ulysses. At this time of day, during a work week, it was completely empty. He climbed out of his car and went to stand under one of the many palm trees that lined the parking area.

Minutes later, Ulysses drove up in his hummer. He parked next to the Buick and quickly climbed out, pausing to remove his coat, tie, gun and holster before shutting the door and walking to Forry's side. He gestured for them to walk down the beach toward a ridge of rocks that went from the top of the beach down into the water, forming a jetty that water slammed into sending sprays high into the air.

Choosing a warm niche in the rock wall, high enough from the water, Feral dropped to graceful seated position on the warm sand. Forry did the same, his body pressed against the dark toms. They watched the water for a while, listening to the waves as they hit the rocks and raced up the beach while the seagulls cried over their heads as they hunted for fish.

Finally Feral broke the silence between them, the sound of the waves having helped calm him for this conversation.

"I've just been with my therapist and what we discussed upset me a great deal."

"I can see that. Did you want to discuss it?" Forry asked gently when Uly didn't go on after a minute.

"Yes.....this is going to be very hard for me.....I still can't talk about what happened to me that night long ago. What I can tell you is I was.....gang raped...." his voice had fallen when he'd reached those words and Forry had to strain his ears to hear it.

It stabbed him through the heart. What a horrible thing to have happen to one so young! No wonder Uly had PTSD.

"I needed you to know this because of how close were becoming. If....if we become intimate, I needed you to know this because it could trigger a flashback, Katrina said. She didn't want you to be blind-sided if that should happen one night when we're together," Feral said shakily. "I was going to wait until we met up again later this week but I'm not sure I would have had the courage to bring it up by then."

"Say no more! I understand completely as I can plainly see its upsetting you just trying to tell me. I'm so sorry this had happened to you but I promise not to run out on you when or if you suffer a nightmare or flashback. I'll be right there helping you through it and comforting you afterward, I swear it," Forry said sincerely, his heart in his throat and tears in his eyes over what his friend had endured.

He drew Uly into his arms and hugged him tightly. Over stressed as well as greatly relieved by Forry's steadfast surety that he would stand by him no matter what, undid Feral. Tears fell and he cried softly into his friend's shoulder while Forry held him tightly, tears flowing from his eyes as he caressed the huge tom, offering what comfort he could.

They remained that way for some time before Uly sighed and lifted his head to beg a kiss to ease his soul a little. Forry willingly gave it and they stayed lip locked until they had to come up for air.

"You're so wonderful. I can't believe how lucky I am to have met you," Feral said hoarsely, nuzzling Forry's neck. "There's one other thing I need to tell you, though."

"What's that?"

"I'm....uh...unfamiliar with having sex. Though I'm not a virgin because of what......" he swallowed and couldn't finish.

"Shhhh....its okay, I understand and I don't want you to worry about that. When its something we both want, it will come easily to you, I promise. It helps that I'm very experienced so there won't be any difficulties beyond the one we already know about. You will never know pain from me, only joy and pleasure, Ulysses," Forry whispered in Uly's ear.

Feral slumped into those welcome arms in great relief. "You'll be happy to know that Katrina seemed to know that about you and had told me the same thing.....when its right, we'll both know and that it would be something wonderful."

"She was right.....when done right....it is very wonderful."

They were silent for a long moment before Feral murmured in his ear, "I trust you!"

Forry hugged the tom even tighter. He knew what it cost Uly to say that and he promised himself he would never betray that trust. He was stunned to realize, he had fallen hard for the damaged tom and he knew in his heart it was not pity but the glowing warmth of love that tugged at him.


	10. Chapter 10

**A SOUL IN TORMENT**

Chapter 10: Something Evil This Way Comes

Felina frowned unhappily at the corpse laying broken and beaten where it had apparently been tossed and barely hidden by cardboard from a shanty area for the homeless under the soaring Megakat super highway.

The call had come in early that morning from one of the homeless who had found the body. This made the fourth body in the last four months that had been found in this condition. Forensics had said the victims had been pumped full of some unknown chemical, raped and beaten then discarded. They were at a loss for the reason for the brutality though one suggestion was someone was conducting experiments and these were the failures.

By number three, the lab finally identified the drug as some new form of mind control. No doubt was left that someone was conducting illegal experiments. The idea of Kats being used in such a way made Felina feel ill. What made this case confusing was the fact all the dead were male of no particular age and all worked for city hall in a minor political level capacity.

That rang alarms for Felina. To her it smacked of someone trying to find a way to attack the city government from within. But she couldn't prove it so here she stood over yet another body and she was sure the poor tom would turn out to be yet another city official.

Sighing, she turned away and allowed CSI to do their thing. She wished she could discuss this case with her uncle but didn't dare.

The case had come up on her uncle's desk from the night shift, four months earlier, and Sgt Fallon had been lucky enough to have spotted it before his superior did. Quickly grabbing it from the pile of reports on Feral's desk, he hurriedly took it and gave it to Felina. She knew immediately why he hadn't wanted her uncle to see it. The fact all the victims had been raped could have set off a flashback and the two of them didn't want to cause him pain and a possible return to the hospital.

So she had been handling the case alone and had lied that she'd been assigned to it by coworkers who asked. Sgt Fallon had sneakily faked her uncle's signature on the assignment sheet so no one would question her. The hard part was keeping it from him. As the body count rose, it was becoming harder to do that as the press got a whiff something serious was going on.

Felina had managed to make it seem the dead were homeless and the enforcers had to investigate any unattended death in the city. She had gotten lucky that the bodies were spread out over several months so they didn't seem to be connected and sent no red flags to anyone watching. However, her subterfuge just wasn't going to hold for long and with this fourth body and she knew it was only a mater of time when her uncle heard or saw for himself.

Unfortunately for her, the next dead body was her downfall and it would test the strength of her uncle's fledgling relationship with Forry.

Another month slipped by with no leads on the city hall case but Feral, who was still ignorant of it, was getting in deeper with Forry. They still hadn't moved past hugging, touching and kissing but Forry didn't feel any urgency for anything more than that and he firmly felt, that whatever emotional support Ulysses needed, he would get. That steadfastness from his friend was what Feral needed at this point and it was what held him together when the next body was found.

The Metallikats had managed to escape Professor's Hackle's lab yet again and decided to do what Hard Drive had attempted the year before, rob the money train. They had laid in wait in the tunnel made specifically for the money train to pass through going to and from the main bank and the mint on a daily basis.

They were at the bank end of the run when they blasted the train engine causing the rest of the cars to smash into it and block the tunnel. The guards were killed as were the train crew. The Metallikats didn't know that the caboose engineer had been able to send a mayday before he was killed which was why the SWAT Kats and the enforcers arrived in time to prevent the pair from making off with the loot.

It was a messy, noisy fight and many enforcers were injured or killed before the pair were finally knocked out of commission again by one of Razor's special missiles. When the dust of battle settled, the area was in a shambles.

"Hey Commander, we'd be happy to lift the trains out of there if you want us to. It will at least make it easier to get the track cleared quicker," T-Bone called on the enforcer band.

Feral almost automatically told them to get lost but with his new mindset he paused to think first then turned to his cleaning crew to see what they thought about the offer.

"As soon as CSU and the medical examiner are finished, sir, it would be a big help if they hauled these things out and carried them to the impound lot for further examination. It would cost the city a lot and take time for us to get the equipment here to do it ourselves," the leader of the cleanup crew said.

Feral had to agree that was true. "How long will it be before you need them?"

"Probably several hours. We could contact them on the enforcer frequency when they will be needed," was the response he got.

"Fine. SWAT Kats!"

"Yeah, Commander?"

"When the preliminary investigation is done and the bodies removed then you'll be called to help pull the cars out and take them to the impound area," he told them.

"Roger, we'll be listening for your call!" Razor answered then the jet took off for their hangar.

"Well, will wonders never cease! Feral actually accepted help from us!" T-Bone snorted in mild surprise.

"Yeah, quite the surprise but I'd like to think its those pills that are keeping him calm. Which, I have to admit is a good thing because it forces him to stop and think for once rather than hot-headedly jumping the gun and losing his temper. It's a nice change," Razor commented.

"I agree but it does feel weird."

Razor could only snort in agreement.

Back at the scene, Feral looked around and thought he should just leave since there was nothing more he could do here when a cry went up that a strange body not associated with the scene had been found.

The brutally beaten body of a young male had been stuffed into a cardboard box and pushed into one of the indented areas of the tunnel.

Feral grimaced angrily at the callousness of the killer. Felina came to stand by him and kept staring between the body and her uncle, watchfully. She had an awful feeling and it was confirmed a few minutes later when the medical examiner gave the body a quick going over.

"At first look, death may have been caused by blunt force trauma to the head but I won't know for certain until I looked him over at the lab. He was thoroughly beaten and it looks like he was raped as well," the doctor said with a sigh, not noticing the Commander's reaction to that pronouncement. "I'll get the report to you as soon as I can," he said quickly, without even looking at Feral before heading toward the train wreckage where the crew and guard bodies were being extricated.

Felina thanked god that the doctor hadn't said he thought the victim was yet another of the city hall cases but mentioning the rape had done her uncle in, if his sudden pallor was any indication.

Feral had gone pale at those plain, blunt words. His stomach clenched as he had a brief flash of his own rape and beating. He staggered and only Felina's strong grip kept him on his feet as she hurriedly drew him aside so no one could observe his distress, the tunnel being dark here made that easy. His body trembled under her paw, his eyes were closed and he was panting.

"Uncle, easy....shhh....it's okay...look at me..."she said urgently, desperately trying to get him to focus on the here and now and not the past.

Heaving for breath and control, Feral struggled to shove the images of both the victim and himself from his mind and finally managed to succeed after five minutes. He opened his eyes and stared around cautiously, worried his enforcers had noted his sudden panicky reaction. He let out a long breathe when he saw that Felina had pulled him from the scene and was keeping him faced away so no one else had witnessed his mini-breakdown.

"Thank you!" He said in a thick, shaky voice.

"It's okay, Uncle," she said softly. "I'll take care of this. There's nothing more for you to do here so go back to the office. I'll stay at the scene and insure everything gets done and write up the report."

"It's not right!" He said suddenly, sounding angry.

"Uncle?"

"I need to be able to do my job! This isn't right !" He repeated.

"Uncle, none of what happened to you was your fault and you are getting better. Please, just give it time," Felina urged, shaking his arm a little to make her point.

He stared down at her for a long moment. "I know that, Felina ....but I just hate how long it's taking." Then he made a swipe in the air as if rubbing something out. "Anyway, this is not the place for this discussion. You're right, go ahead and take care of this and send me the report." He said, making a strong effort to get control of his shaking nerves and moving away from the troubling subject. He gave her a brisk nod then walked hurriedly off.

Felina sighed and returned to the scene. She watched as forensics collected their evidence and insured clean up was well on it's way. It was more than four hours before all the bodies had been carried out. The homicide body was being put in the medical examiner's van, separated from the other casualty's at the site.

When she received the go ahead from CSU that the site could be cleared of debris, she summoned the SWAT Kats. It took them over two hours to pull the wrecked cars out of the tunnel and haul them away. When it was finally done, she thank them.

"Great job, guys! You saved the city money and time."

"Hey, always glad to be of assistance to the enforcers, Lieutenant. Have a good night!" T-Bone called back.

"You too!" She returned, then signed off and sighed.

She was bone tired and she still had to write up her report and leave it in her uncle's office. It was late, he would have left for the day, she was certain. Tomorrow would be soon enough for her to get up the courage to brief him on what that dead body meant. She headed for her chopper and set off back to Enforcer Headquarters.

When Feral returned to his office, he closed his door firmly behind him then took off his coat. He barely got it hung before his stomach, which he'd been clamping down on, threatened to unload. Racing to the bathroom, he promptly threw up. By the time his stomach was emptied, he was shaking and sweaty. He rinsed his mouth out and washed his face.

Katrina had been right, his job had indeed triggered a flashback. This damn memory was wrecking havoc with his ability to do his job but getting angry wouldn't make it go away or help him get past his self imposed block.

Collecting himself, he returned to his desk and firmly put aside the memory of that young kat. He asked his secretary to get him some tea and settled down to work. He was very grateful he had a date with Forry tonight.

They met at their favorite restaurant later that evening. His stomach and mind still churning, Feral could only pick at his dinner.

"What's the matter, love? You look like you've had a major shock today," Forry asked quietly. He hadn't missed the hunched shoulders and the way Ulysses couldn't meet his eyes.

"I can't talk about it right now," Feral said tightly, taking a sip of his small glass of wine.

"Work related and too high security or it's too upsetting to discuss here?" Forry probed gently, not letting Feral off the hook.

Feral sighed and stopped pretending he was going to eat. "Too upsetting," he murmured.

"Then let me finish my food and we'll go somewhere more private."

"It's kind of late for the ocean and I'm of wrung out......" Feral muttered a soft objection.

Forry eyed him as he finished his meal and signaled for the check. "Then why don't we go to your place or mine, whichever you feel most comfortable. I have a feeling this is something you need my comforting for."

Feral gave his friend a look of relief. They had been together long enough now that Forry could almost read him like a book and it made it much easier to convey his need without actually having to voice it aloud.

"My place......" he said hesitantly.

"Your place it is. Let's go. I'll follow you," Forry said firmly, staying close to Ulysses as they walked out of the restaurant and to their cars.

There was barely any traffic so Forry had no trouble following Ulysses to his apartment building some five miles away. Forry parked in the guest area and walked to meet Feral who had parked in his usual spot. They walked in silence into the building and took the elevator to the top floor. Feral stepped out of the car and went down the quiet carpeted hallway to his door.

Forry barely noticed the place, except to see it was fairly upper class, with a nice thick rug underfoot and some excellent paintings on the wall before he stepped into Uly's apartment.

In here he saw a tastefully designed space with comfortable furniture, paintings, and high end entertainment center. He waited patiently near the entryway while Ulysses removed his coat and weapon and put them away. Feral politely asked for Forry's coat and hung it up as well before leading the way into the living space.

Feral sat on the couch with Forry sitting beside him, putting an arm around the dark tom's shoulder and waiting.

Shifting his shoulders uncomfortable and feeling uneasy, Feral had a hard time trying to tell Forry what had happened to upset him this badly.

Forry reached up and gently caressed the tom's face. "Whatever it is, love....I'll help you through it......just get it out before it chokes you!" He coaxed.

"You heard about the Metallikats attack on the money train?"

"Yes, it was on the news and everyone was talking about it at the office."

"What no one knows yet, was a body had been stashed in that tunnel that had nothing to do with the attempted heist. It was just luck the two occurred together."

"How awful! Was this person killed?"

"Yes! Definitely a homicide. Young male, beaten and..and...raped...then tossed in a box like garbage," he said thickly, beginning to shake a little but working hard not to relive his own memory again.

Forry pulled Uly into his arms tightly and nuzzled him comfortingly. "I'm sorry love.......caused you a flashback did it?" He asked softly as the tom clung to him and shook harder. A nod was his answer. Forry sighed mentally. 'Sounds like I'll be staying here tonight,' he thought, sadness running through him that the first time they would sleep together would not be for a much nicer reason.


	11. Chapter 11

**A SOUL IN TORMENT**

Chapter 11: A Decision of Love

Forry held Ulysses for a long time while the tom shook. He caressed the broad back and murmured soothingly into the tom's ear. When Uly was reasonably calm again, he coaxed him to at least eat some soup, take a hot shower, then watch some mindless TV for a few hours before going to bed.

Feral gave Forry a t-shirt and pj bottoms to sleep in, though they were a bit big on him. It felt both strange and wonderful to have someone laying curled around him in his usually big empty bed. Forry's warm breath and the arm his friend had around his waist made him feel wanted and comforted.

To his surprise, he fell asleep quickly despite the stressful day. All was peaceful until nearly an hour after midnight when Feral's sleep was invaded by the sounds of cruel laughter. He moaned and writhed as flashes of memory of that terrible night played over again in graphic detail. His moans of protest to the phantom images to leave him alone quickly changed to heart wrenching screams of remembered terror and pain.

Forry jerked awake in shock as his ears were assaulted by the awful sounds of a kitten in mortal terror. Feral was thrashing wildly and his screams were that of a young kat rather than the adult male he truly was.

His heart in his throat, Forry desperately tried to calm his friend. He held him against his chest and rocked him while murmuring nonsense words of comfort.

It took over ten minutes before the worst was over and he held a limp and sobbing tom. Forry continued to caress the shuddering body in his arms until Ulysses passed into deeper sleep once more, never having wakened at all.

Tenderly laying his burden down on its pillow, he got up and padded silently to Uly's bathroom , closing the door tightly behind him before moving to the sink where he clung to the cold porcelain and broke down.

He sobbed unashamedly for some minutes before the shock wore off and he could regain his equilibrium. Taking slow, deep breaths while still holding onto the sink, Forry waited until his wildly beating heart and anguished emotions eased to a much calmer level.

'My God! Knowing he had been raped just isn't the same as experiencing his nightmare like that. I never dreamed it could be that devastating or intense. Lord, he sounded so impossibly young," he moaned, shaking his head at the injustice of it all.

Sighing tiredly, he washed his face with warm water then took a clean cloth soaked in warm water back to Uly. Gently, he washed the sleeping face, laid the cloth on the night stand then climbed back into the bed behind Uly, wrapping himself around the big body once more, praying the poor tom wouldn't have a repeat of the nightmare before morning.

Dawn's early light peeked through the partly open curtain, laying its golden glow over the sleeping pair. Feral moaned softly and shifted, waking Forry with a start. His heart drumming in his ears, Forry listened tensely for sounds of distress but Uly only sighed and relaxed again.

Laying his head back on his pillow, Forry stared at the back of Uly's head while waiting for his heart to calm again.

Too shaken to fall asleep again, he thought about what he could do to help Uly over the trauma of his past. It was obvious this was going to come between them and keep the big tom hostage until it was finally released.

But how could he help Uly do this. He was already getting help from medication and a therapist but what could his friend do to help further?

Well, there was one thing they hadn't done yet but it was the one thing that would certainly cause a flashback, especially after such a fresh incident had already presented the poor tom with his first in a long time.

'However......' Forry, paused and frowned. It didn't have to be intercourse. There were lots of things they could do to enjoy each other without that final component. Nodding his head without realizing he was doing it, Forry came to a decision.

'Yes, that's exactly what he needs! Being intimate with someone he cares about and who cares for him should help bolster his confidence as well as make him feel good about himself,' he thought. 'Anyway, it's the only thing I can think of and we can't continue on this way forever. Also, something has to be done because every rape case is going to be a potential trigger for a flashback as yesterday had proven. He can't function as the Chief Enforcer with such a monkey on his back.'

Forry sighed and pressed his face into Uly's neck fur. The wonderful smell that was all Ulysses hit his nose and turned his morning erection into steel. He smiled to himself.

'Ah yes, just the thing to start the morning right and move Uly into a better frame of mind,' he thought warmly and a bit lecherously as he carefully pressed his hard cock against Uly's lower back ready to pull away if he received a negative response.

Ulysses, however, shifted and moaned with sleepy pleasure. Encouraged, Forry continued to rub his hard member against Uly's tail and buttocks.

To the erotic rubbing, he added warm kisses and nipping the big tom's neck and shoulders. His paws caressing the broad chest, began to pinch and roll the nipples between his fingers until they drew up into taut peaks. Uly moaned and sighed, wriggling his body to show he enjoyed what was happening to him though he still hadn't wakened.

Licking his lips in anticipation, Forry continued his erotic touches, stroking hard muscles of his lover's lower abdomen as he reached the object of his morning's exploration.

First, he caressed the impressive erection through its cloth trap, feeling its heat and length, groaning with pleasure at how well it fit in his paw even through the clothing.

Uly's tool grew in size making Forry blink with amazement and desire. No longer satisfied with just teasing, he gently fished the hot steel out into the morning air. He blinked in joy as he stared over the tom's shoulder at the thick mushroom head already weeping pre-come and down the thickly veined pole to its root where a sizable pair of balls lay nestled in short dark fur. Just one of them filled his palm, already tightening from his attentions.

'Oh, now aren't you a fine fellow,' he thought breathlessly. He could hardly wait to have that deep within him but unfortunately that would have to wait another time. Right now only gentle and teasing play was allowed. To that end, Forry grasped the hot pole and began a slow, intense up and down stroking that finally awakened the dark tom who blinked and moaned at the wonderful sensations rippling through his body.

"Umm....ohhhh......Forry?" He questioned in a thick, sleepy voice that sounded incredibly sexy to Forry.

"Morning love. I thought I'd give you a nice wake up call and move our relationship a little further ahead but we won't go any faster than you're comfortable with. For the moment, call this an introduction of sorts," he said warmly, giving Uly a nip to his ear.

Feral's eye's suddenly closed as a delightful shiver of pleasure swept through him. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before. All of Forry's touches were drawing out the most extraordinary sensations from his body.

He moaned and writhed shamelessly as he allowed himself to just enjoy what his friend and soon to be lover was doing to him.

"Ohhhh....Forry....that feels so fantastic...." he gasped, caught between the feel of Forry's warm paw on his cock and the hard feel of the other tom's tool rubbing between his thighs.

Sensations he'd never experienced before and was enjoying immensely spread rapidly through him until the stimulation grew too great and he came suddenly with a startled cry. After the incredible power of his orgasm waned, he lay in stunned but happy amazement for several minutes until he realized the hardness between his thighs meant Forry had not found release yet.

Embarrassed, he murmured in a shamed voice, "Oh Forry, I'm sorry....." But his new lover cut him off gently with a finger to Uly's lips.

"Ssh, It's alright.....that's exactly what I was trying for. I wanted you to feel what it was like to come....I'm not the least bit upset by it," Forry soothed him gently.

"But, you haven't come yet!" Ulysses protested, feeling humiliated. He might not be experienced at sex but he did know that it was supposed to be enjoyed by both parties.

"Oh, but I will and you're going to help me!" Forry insisted. "Now roll over and face me," he instructed gently.

Willing to do anything his new lover wanted, Feral rolled over until they faced one another.

"Raise you leg a bit....." Forry said then move his hips forward until his hard cock slipped just under Uly's balls and between his thighs. "...okay, lower it...now we get nice and hot together," Forry smirked before wrapping his legs around Uly then leaning forward and taking Uly's mouth in a deeply passionate kiss.

Uly was shocked and surprised to feel himself getting heated and ready once more just from Forry's skilled kisses. The tom hadn't been kidding when he said he was very good at it. A tongue tapped on his lips a moment later, which caused him to open his mouth. It felt utterly incredible as their rough, spiked tongues dueled hotly for some minutes until they couldn't catch their breath.

Between his legs, Feral felt the pistoning of that hard cock rubbing him and sending hot sparks up his spine making him hard again. His own cock was pressed tightly between them and the feel of their furred bodies rubbing him relentlessly was driving him crazy.

He was soon lost in the throes of heady passion as Forry continued to drive them both to a mutual orgasm.

It took every bit of will power Forry had to not let go until Uly was with him as he continued to torment them both until the sparks flaring between them rose to an impossible level.

Uly cried out, "Oh, God, Forry!" His body jolted as his cock jerked then released, the action sending Forry over the edge as well.

"Ulysses!" He shouted as his own cock spilled its hot seed between their tightly clasped bodies.

Their bodies shuddered for some long moments before they went limp and still, hearts hammering and breaths panting.

No other sound filled the room until Ulysses was finally able to get enough brath to speak, wonder in his voice, "that was fantastic, Forry."

"You're welcome, Ulysses and I thought so too." Forry smiled, licking his new lover's face languidly.

Staring into the eyes of the first lover he'd ever had he realized just how fortunate he was. "Thank you! You were right......when its done right it can be beautiful and really messy....." he added, staring down between their bodies at the sticky mess their fur was.

Forry chuckled in happy amusement. "That just gives us an excellent excuse to take a joint shower, love," he smirked, giving Uly a wink.

Ulysses blushed but grinned back shyly. The idea of taking a shower with someone else sounded kinda hot. Allowing himself to react rather than think too much, he leaned close and initiated a kiss that swept them both away again for a little while.


	12. Chapter 12

**A SOUL IN TORMENT**

Chapter 12: Moving in the Right Directions

When the kiss broke naturally, Ulysses raised a paw and caressed Forry's cheek.

"Thank you for the great wake up call," he murmured warmly.

"You're very welcome," Forry said smiling back at his new lover.

"I have to wonder, though, why you felt the need to push our relationship to this stage," Feral asked, a small frown on his face.

Forry sighed and a sad, haunted look flashed in his eyes briefly before he leaned close and nuzzled Ulysses reassuringly. "I thought this might help over come the bad night you had," he admitted reluctantly. Instantly, Ulysses went very still against his face. He pulled his head back to study the tom's face more closely."

"I had a nightmare didn't I?" Feral asked tightly. "I don't usually remember when I have them. Did I upset you?"

"I won't lie to you, love. It was frightening and made me so very sad but I now understand a little better just how bad it had been for you. I was glad I could comfort you and ease you back to deeper sleep but I thought perhaps pushing our relationship to the next logical step would help you get closer to bringing that nightmare to light and vanquishing it. A new love that is strong and healthy can do a lot toward fighting your demon," Forry explained gently.

Feral blinked at his lover in surprise and a bit of discomfort. It embarrassed him that Forry had been forced to experience that dark side of him. Biting his lip, he turned his head away and stared at the far wall.

"Don't retreat, my love!" Forry said urgently, nuzzling the dark furred cheek next to his nose. "You have no reason to be embarrassed. A lover shares all things bad and good in a relationship. We will conquer this....together, I promise."

Feral turned to stare into those earnest copper eyes and saw heartfelt sincerity and love. He swallowed, his throat tight with overwhelming emotions of tenderness and the beginning echoes of the love he saw shining down on him.

"I'll try, Forry. It's a terrible thing and so strong that I have yet to be able to face it head on. Perhaps you're right, our new love will be what breaks through the wall I've built around the memory. I fervently hope so."

"That's the spirit, love. Now how about we get cleaned up, we've got work to get to," Forry said impishly, giving Feral a hard kiss then climbing out of the bed to head for the bathroom, pausing at the door to give the dark tom a 'come hither' look filled with promise.

Feeling better and more hopeful than he'd had in so very long, Feral quickly scrambled out of the bedding and chased after his lover.

More than an hour later, he walked into Enforcer Headquarters with a strong, purposeful step and determination that he could handle whatever the day presented him including the case of the raped young tom.

Felina met him at his door, an unhappy and worried look on her face. Frowning, he said nothing as he nodded to her and headed on into his office, taking off his coat and hanging it before striding across the floor to his pedestal desk.

Once settled, he steeled himself to hear what she had to say.

Felina studied her uncle carefully as he settled at his desk. He looked good this morning. 'Perhaps he had spent the time with his new friend. I hope so because he's going to need that support to get through what I'm going to tell him,' she thought worriedly.

"Uncle, you are going to be unhappy with me but Sgt Fallon and I felt it best I try to handle this case on my own. Unfortunately, despite all the evidence we've gathered we have no idea who is doing this or why," she said briskly then went on to give a concise report on what had been going on over the last four months.

He worked hard to listen to the facts and not allow an emotional connection to happen that would break his concentration. He felt rather proud that, except for a momentary tightening of his gut, he did manage to listen dispassionately.

When she finally finished, he got up from his seat and went to the wall of windows and stared out. Leaving the rape out of it, he focused on the why someone would do this to males working within city hall.

He agreed with Felina, someone was trying to find an 'in' to the government by trying to find a way to mind control someone to do their spy or sabotage work.

Turning back, he said, ".....and you haven't found a link to who could be doing this?"

"No Uncle," Felina sighed in disgust. Inwardly, she was pleased to see he was handling the news very well. "All evidence was wiped clean. All we know is they are using some kind of new type of mind drug and that only city officials were being kidnapped, experimented on, then disposed of. No idea if whoever it is, has perfected their drug or not nor what their long term goal is."

"I would have to say it smacks of Dark Kat, though, I have to admit he isn't known for using this method. That is more along the line of Viper but not exactly," he rumbled angrily, stalking back to his desk and sitting down.

Felina sucked in a breath. "Crud! You may be right uncle! Though he usually uses technical methods, this still sounds like one of his long range plans to take over the city."

"Until we know otherwise, it might be wise to be on the look out for him," Feral growled.

"Yes sir! I'll get the word out to the troops and perhaps step up patrols to monitor the rest of the lower level officials of city hall that might be targeted."

"Good idea, Felina. Do that and this time, keep me in the loop," Feral said firmly.

"I will Uncle," she said, relief in her voice as she smartly turned about and left his offices.

He sighed and shook himself. He felt amazed that he actually made it through that harrowing briefing and didn't fall apart. If he just continued to think of it as an investigation and not something that had anything to do with his past, he could focus more fully on the fact this was a very serious matter and a definite threat to the city.

Scowling at the thought that Dark Kat could indeed be behind this, he decided to dig into the reports Felina had left him, searching for any clues she might have missed.

Several hours later he was forced to conclude that despite all the evidence, just as Felina had said there was nothing to connect Dark Kat with the kidnapping but he couldn't shake the feeling the evil tom was responsible.

He hated the fact they would have to wait and see what happens next. Waiting on an omega to make a move was what they were forced to do far too often and he was so hardily tired of being on the defensive all the time.

Putting that mystery aside for now, he dug into the rest of his workload waiting for his attention.

Some weeks passed and the relationship between Feral and his new lover, Forry blossomed and deepened. At first, Forry kept their interactions purely in the foreplay arena but gradually the sexual tension increased and the inevitable occurred.

During this time of growing closeness, Feral had only had two more episodes of nightmares, much to his anguished shame. Forry worked hard to ease him through them and continually reassured his lover of his devotion toward him which helped Feral get past the incidents more quickly.

After the second nightmare had occurred, the next morning, near dawn, Forry listened alertly when Uly awakened him moaning. The tom muttered incoherently in his sleep but didn't seem to be distressed.

He decided Uly needed something more substantial than what they'd been doing lately, to prove to the tom that his lover would not be put off by the nightmares and would always be by his side no matter what.

To that end, Forry began laying warm kisses and licking the big tom's neck and shoulders. His paws caressed the broad chest pinching and rolling the nipples between his fingers until they drew up in taut peaks.

Uly sighed and began moaning in pleasure. Smirking, Forry continued his erotic touches. He stroked the hard muscles of his lover's lower abdomen as he reached the object of his morning's exploration. Grasping Uly's cock firmly in his paw he began a slow up and down stroke.

The dark tom woke and groaned moving his hips to encourage his lover to greater efforts. But Forry had other plans that didn't include getting Uly off so quickly.

When Forry suddenly stopped touching him, Ulysses rolled over to stare at his lover in confusion.

Forry smiled "I have something else in mind this morning, my love. I want you to do something for me that you'll enjoy." Getting up on his paws and knees, he instructed his novice lover in the art of rimming and preparing his lover. He'd done some preliminary things with Uly over the past few weeks so it wasn't completely unfamiliar.

Smiling wickedly, Ulysses proceeded to follow his lover's instructions to the letter. He was soon rewarded with Forry's moans of pleasure and cries of need.

Panting and hot, Forry quickly had Uly lay down on his back. Uly's erection was jutting proudly from its nest of dark fur weeping with clear fluid. Smiling down at his lover, Forry straddled Uly's hips and slowly and carefully slid the hard cock into his hot channel.

Both of them groaned at the incredible sensation. It was slow going due to Uly's large size but soon Forry had managed to take the whole hard spear within himself. After sitting still a few minutes to get used to the huge cock stretching him to his limit, he began a slow rocking movement. Leaning forward, he traded hot, passionate kisses with Uly.

'Oh God! This is soo good!' Feral moaned in surprised heat. He never dreamed intercourse could be this wonderful. He could feel his barbs rubbing Forry's hot channel sending zings of intense pleasure up his spine. The squeezing pressure and friction was driving him out of his mind. Panting he thrust up against Forry's downward movement.

Pressure boiled up from his balls and he couldn't hold back very long because the feelings and this being his first time were too much to hold back. As Forry's ass clenched him hard, Uly gave it up and came screaming, filling his lover with a hot wave of seed.

Uly's orgasm launched Forry into his own climax. Shouting for joy his own cock sprayed Uly's chest with white cream. Shuddering, he collapsed limply over Uly's chest as he tried to catch his breath. Through his ear he could hear the hard thumping of his lover's own heart and Uly's harsh breaths as he recovered too. It was some minutes later when the now soft cock slid from his channel making him moan at its loss.

When he could finally raise his head, Forry stared into a pair of blissful gold eyes and a huge grin splitting his lover's face.

"Wow! So that's what intercourse is like! I love it!" Feral grinning giddily.

"I can safely say, I've never enjoyed a ride so much in my life. You're amazing, my love. An absolutely incredible ride I want to repeat again and again!" Forry said with heartfelt sincerity as he leaned close and kissed his lover deeply.

Feral groaned under the hot kiss, his mind riding high with lovely endorphins and singing for joy that his first time had been so incredibly wonderful. He was one lucky tom!


	13. Chapter 13

**A SOUL IN TORMENT**

Chapter 13: Dark Kat Makes His Move

Claws sunk deep into the mattress, face pressed into his pillow, tail over his back and hips hiked high, Feral groaned and cried out in ecstasy as Forry pounded into him. He may have thought taking Forry had been great, but being taken was even more heavenly.

Forry had been reluctant at first, feeling his lover might not be truly ready for this next serious step but Uly had been adamant that he didn't want their relationship to be one sided. So less than a week after he'd taken Forry, he allowed his lover to take him.

Though there had been some lingering fear that he might flashback to his rape, just as Katrina predicted, the love and care Forry took to prepare him for this made all the difference in how he reacted. Not a twitch of a flashback occurred as he enjoyed the first ride of his life.

His body was on fire and sparks were going off in his head as Forry plowed him harder and harder. He didn't think he could hold out much longer and turned out to be right when with a wild scream, he clenched his ass in hot spasms and vaguely heard Forry yell seconds later, a heated stream filling him adding to his delight. Gasping he collapsed like a limp doll to the bed with Forry's warm weight slumped over him. Oh yes, life was good.

"Oh love, that was sooo fantastic!" He sighed, enjoying the endorphin high.

"I'm right with you on that, Uly," Forry said giving Uly a tired lick on the cheek. "You are one hot tom!"

Feral blushed a little at the compliment. What a great way to end a long day. His nights had been blissfully free of nightmares since the two of them had become intimate and begun living together. Not even the rape case disturbed his new serene outlook on life.

Moving in together had been discussed soon after Forry had made it clear Ulysses was who he wanted for the rest of his life but Feral was still reluctant and unsure. It wasn't until they moved into this new level of intimacy that the dark tom finally realized Forry was indeed the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with as well. It was a really big step for him and he was excited about it but they had yet to decide whose place would become their new home.

It had been a quiet week and they'd just enjoyed a pleasant hour at their favorite restaurant. By mutual consent, they had gone to Feral's apartment and were now on the roof enjoying the warm night air. It seemed only natural to kiss under the stars. It was a wonderful feeling being held like this, Feral thought and he never wanted it to end.

Above them, on patrol, the SWAT Kats passed nearby. "We're near Feral's apartment building, T-Bone." Razor said casually.

"Do you want a quick look to see how he's doing, if he's home?" T-Bone asked as he halted the jet in VTOL mode.

"Well it's been a while. He has seemed much better, what little we've seen of him. It couldn't hurt to make sure." Razor said as he aimed his viewing device toward the appropriate target. "Well, well! He's doing better than we could have ever hoped," Razor said in pleased amusement.

"What are you seeing?" T-Bone asked burning with curiosity.

"Turn your screen on," Razor snorted to his partner as he continued to watch his own screen.

"Well whatta ya know! I wonder who that handsome looking tom is?"

"Don't know but its obvious the big guy is really fond of him. Hope it works out for the best," Razor said pleased things had finally worked out for the Commander. "I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm really happy for the big lug."

"Yeah me too. He deserves a little happiness finally. Let's leave the two lovebirds alone. We've still another hour of patrol to go," T-Bone said easily as he switched the jet to forward motion and headed further into the city skyline.

On the roof, unaware of their departing watchers, the two broke the kiss. "Hmm, delicious. I love this part of the evening," Feral sighed, rubbing his cheek against his lover's.

"Hmmm, as do I, my love," Forry murmured happily in returned.

They held each other and just stared out at the city lights.

"I had an idea about where we would live together, Uly," Forry said quietly.

"Oh, what is it?"

"Instead of picking one of our apartments, how about starting new in a place we choose together."

Feral's eyebrows rose in surprise. He thought about that a moment before responding. "You know, that's not a bad idea then it would be a true new beginning for us both......I like it."

Forry grinned, "excellent....then we could go looking this weekend if you're free."

"I look forward to it."

That weekend was the first of many hunting forays. It took them only a few more weekends before they finally found the perfect place, a high rise apartment that looked out over the bay, large and roomy, with a large patio and chopper pad. It was a condo and they both signed the ownership papers together. It was a giddy beginning, buying furniture, moving in, then christening it on their first night. It was a bright new beginning and Feral was on top of the world.

During this 'honeymoon period' Feral was doing well at his job, his medication had been lessened and his visits to his therapist was reduced to only three a month. That didn't mean he was healthy, as Katrina and his new mate warned him. Until he dealt completely with the nightmare of his past, his move forward would not be complete. However, Feral felt far more optimist than he had, that he would be able to overcome his horrible past soon.

On the work front, there had been no more bodies turning up and still no sign of Dark Kat or whoever it was doing this. Felina was concerned there might be more bodies out there but they simply hadn't been found.

It was stupid to think that such an experiment could be done on so few to get the results (whatever those were) the killer was after. The forensic pathologist felt the same way. He told Felina that such an experiment would require many tries before success. Unfortunately, he couldn't tell from the bodies just how far the killer had come in his experiments since he didn't have the starting point to determine it.

It was suspected, the killer or killers had most likely started their experiments on the homeless and/or runaways and that was why no other bodies had been discovered yet or the bodies had simply been disposed of by furnace or burial.

However, Felina extrapolated from the recent kills, the experimenter might be close to success because the bodies were being more easily found, seemingly giving away the killer's plan. Was this his way of thumbing his nose at the enforcers......telling them he was planning to attack city hall and daring them to try and stop him? If it was Dark Kat, it would be like him to want everyone to know it was him to sow as much fear as he could before launching his attack. It certainly fit his pattern.

When she presented this scenario to her uncle, he grimly agreed she might be on the right track. The enforcers were put on alert and protection for the city officials was stepped up. It was a fair assessment to think Dark Kat was on the verge of setting his plan in motion.

As the weather began to warm up, Felina's suspicions began to be borne out as bodies began to appear more frequently due to the odor of rotting corpses filling the air.

Several of the bodies were being found in the landfill and by the junk collectors. Burke and Murray were cleaning up a pile of wrecks left behind in an altercation with the Pastmaster and his dinosaurs when they came across a nasty surprise.

As they were loading the smashed cars into their rig, Murray recoiled from the sour/sweet smell emanating from a van he was readying for the crane. Calling his brother over the two cautiously pried the back doors open and nearly threw up at the sight of a decayed corpse within. Moving away quickly they called the enforcers.

Felina sighed as she oversaw the crime scene. There wasn't much of the body left and only a forensic pathologist would be able to determine what sex it was and how the poor kat had died. At this moment it was just a body. They would have to wait to see if there had been a crime or not.

Not long after more bodies were being uncovered and the autopsy reports pointed to the killer and his experiments. As she had surmised, all the victims were reported runaways and the homeless.

The sheer number of bodies being found of course managed to find their way into the news reports causing a roar of fear and anger among the city's inhabitants.

Omega attacks were bad enough for the population but the presence of a serial killer had them terrified because it was more personal. The Mayor's office was being inundated with demands to find the killer and the Mayor was leaning on Feral for results. Knowing his niece was doing her best, he did not climb all over her with constant demands on her progress. The number of bodies had reached 20 when Dark Kat finally made his move.

It was a warm, sultry evening, as Feral left Enforcer Headquarters, heading for his new home. Within a mile of his apartment he was waylaid. A foursome of muscle cars had hemmed his hummer in at an intersection. They proceeded to keep him in a box and pushed him into a dead-end alley.

"Enforcer one! Am under attack, four black hummers have hemmed me in at the intersection of Royal St and Barker Ave.!" He called the dispatch hurriedly.

"Units on their way sir, stay in contact," dispatch said hurriedly as he sent an all call to aid their leader.

Unfortunately, Feral's attackers forced him to stop, a short gun battle ensued before they managed to overwhelm him. The dispatcher was beside himself with fear and worry as all he could do was transmit the struggle he was hearing on his radio. The distant sounds of enforcers coming still were not close enough before the radio went dead.

A helicopter had slipped in above the scene and the thugs that were handling Feral soon had him stuffed into a heavy bag then winced above to the waiting chopper. Once he was secured, the ground forces quickly climbed into their vehicles and disappeared in four directions while the chopper rose to a higher elevation then took off in a northerly direction.

The enforcers, both ground and air, arrived too late.....finding only the commander's hummer, laser damage on buildings showing how he'd struggled and nothing else to tell them where Feral had been taken.

_**Far side of town.....industrial area...**_

Feral was hauled like a sack of potatoes out of the chopper and into a building then dropped to the hard cement floor. The bag was pulled off him and he was yanked to his feet where he was briskly frisked and disarmed. Surrounding him were ninjas and walking through the door was Dark Kat and another kat in a lab coat.

"Welcome to my hideout, Commander," Dark Kat coldly said, a hideous parody of a smile on his face.

Feral shuddered and looked around. The room he was in had no windows and was bare except for a medical bed in the middle of the floor with restraints. "What do you want with me?" He asked gruffly.

"Why, you are an important piece to my plan to take over the government of this city. Once I'm finished with you, I'll have the perfect spy who obeys my every command helping me take the city from within. They will never know their totally trustworthy leader of the military will be under my command." Dark Kat said smugly.

He pointed to the lab coated kat. "Meet the one who will be responsible for your transformation, Dr. Lynkill has been experimenting with a new drug that allows a kat to retain their intelligence but subverts their loyalties to the one they have been conditioned to accept as their dominant. It's a combination of mind altering drugs with sex that causes the kat to be totally under the power of the one who has sexually dominated them. It's taken months of experimentation to get the right levels of drug and sex to work but we've been successful at last and we are now ready for you." His smile dark and evil.

Feral nightmare rose up and added themselves to the terror he felt at that cold pronouncement from his enemy. His mind took a hike as he wildly struck out, screams exploding from his mouth as he plunged into the ninjas, uncaring the number of them there were.

Caught by surprise, the ninjas found themselves trying to hold onto a lunatic who sent many of them flying into walls and others knocked cold. Dark Kat stared in open mouthed surprise and didn't react at first as he watched the normally sensible dark tom, react like a raging lunatic, eyes wild with fear, mouth foaming as if he had rabies.

It took an overwhelming number of ninjas and creeplings to finally subdue the tom but even then Feral continued to buck and fight furiously. Dark Kat reached over and struck Feral's jaw with enough force to make the tom see stars.

For a long moment, Feral could only heave frantically for air and stare in shock up at the evil Kat who stared at him in consternation.

"This isn't like you Commander. I expected resistance but not sheer terror. It seems something has happened to you since our last encounter. No matter, the drug will calm you. It will take a few days to be at the level it needs to be before the next step. So we'll get started now," he said coldly turning to look at Dr. Lynkill. "Give the injection!"

The doctor approached Feral with a hypodermic needle.

Feral's eyes widened and fear clawed his insides making him struggle violently against his bonds.

"No.......I'm already on medication!" He screamed, praying that would put a stop to Dark Kat's plans.

The doctor halted in consternation. "What drug are you taking?" He hissed in annoyance.

"I...I'm on hydroxyzine," Feral managed to squeeze out.

"Dammit!" The doctor swore and turned to Dark Kat. "We can't give him anything right now till that antidepressant is out of his system," he snarled angrily.

"Why?" Dark Kat demanded sharply.

"Because our drug would act unfavorably with that antidepressant causing the wrong responses. If it didn't kill him outright, it would certainly not allow you to do what you've planned!" He said in disgust.

"How long will we have to wait?"

"At least four to five days."

"We only have his word that he's on this drug.....he'd lie to keep from being injected."

"That's easy to determine. Let me get a sample and I'll test it.....will only take a few minutes."

"Get to it!"

Dr. Lynkill quickly got what he needed from a table nearby and drew a sample of blood from Feral. He took it over to his lab setup and began testing it. Dark Kat paced in irritation as he waited.

Minutes later the doctor hissed in annoyance then turned to Dark Kat. "He's on it alright! By the looks of the amount in his system, he's been on it for sometime."

Dark Kat moved back to the bed and leaned over the Commander. His fury plain on his alien face. "It seems you have a temporary reprieve Commander. But not to worry, no one will find you here and we will begin the 'treatment' soon never fear. Until then you will be treated gently because I wouldn't want you to be damaged until I'm ready to return you as my spy." He turned away and barked some orders.

"Take him to his cell." With that final pronouncement, the powerful creature turned and left the room followed by his ninjas. Creeplings undid his restraints then carried him bodily in the air to a back section of the warehouse. He was dumped into a room that was obviously waiting for him. It held a bed, chair, and porta-potty. It had no windows and only the single heavy door that was locked.

He picked himself up from the floor where he'd been dropped and went to the bed to sit down. His heart was hammering in his ears, his stomach clenched tight and the terror he felt was too much like that horrible moment when he was sixteen.

'Please someone find me!" He prayed fervently. 'Even if it's the SWAT Kats, please get me out of here.' He closed his eyes tight and tried to keep the tears of despair from falling.


	14. Chapter 14

**A SOUL IN TORMENT**

Chapter 14: Nightmares, Escape and Dark Kat's Downfall

That night the nightmares returned. He screamed and thrashed around on the bed drawing the attention of his guards who ran in and were unable to get the tom to calm down nor quiet his screaming. Finally, one of them ran for the doctor.

Annoyed at having his sleep disturbed, Dr. Lynkill strode in to see the prisoner. Eying Feral in dismay and disgust, he gave the tom a sedative which ended the screaming. Shaking his head, the doctor left. He hoped this wasn't a sign of something serious or Dark Kat's plans were going to be stalled even more.

By morning, Feral had awakened and immediately began heaving. He couldn't eat the food he'd been brought but did manage to drink some water. He looked horribly hungover. The rest of the day he wandered or huddled on the bed, totally unresponsive.

As the days passed, the tom became more withdrawn and the nights were filled with the screams of a tormented Kat. The guards were getting hardily tired and shaken by the sounds of a kitten in torment. It never sounded like an adult male in terror which the guards could ignore with ease......the sounds of a kitten being tortured made some of them ill at ease.

By the fourth night, Dr. Lynkill was becoming concerned their subject was unfit. When he had been called yet again to sedate the tom, he stayed and observed the Kat's behavior and drew some unhappy conclusions.

He went to his lab and did some research and by morning he had some unhappy news to impart to Dark Kat.

In Dark Kat's office one of his ninja's was giving his boss some unpleasant news. "Sir, Commander Feral is not looking good. He's had screaming nightmares for the last four nights bad enough to require the doctor to trank him, his appetite is nonexistent, and he's nearly catatonic."

Before Dark Kat could react to this, Dr. Lynkill stormed in. "Your Commander is unfit for your plans. You will have to get another subject. I've seen his type of medical condition before and it explains the drug he was taking. That kat has been sexually abused sometime in his past. I'd say the abuse was severe as the tom is totally withdrawn. If you try to dominate him, you will simply send him into a catatonic state he will never return from. He's useless."

Dark Kat lunged to his feet, swearing furiously. The doctor just stood quietly fuming. He'd seen the big kat's fits of temper before.

Finally calming somewhat, Dark Kat snarled, "Fine, get rid of him the same way as the others. This means a significant delay in my plans and a new target."

His ninja ran off to do his bidding on the disposal of their prisoner. Feral was quickly bundled up and removed from the hideout. They packed the kat into a van and drove some time until they reached a secluded area under the freeway bridges that intersected the city.

Hauling him out they proceeded to beat him which he barely noticed since he was too deeply depressed and doped to react much until one of them attempted to strip his pants off to rape him. His terror surged up overtaking his mind and turning him into a berserker.

Ripping and slashing with his claws and using his larger size, Feral beat and nearly killed his tormentors. When his enemies were strewn on the ground around him, he staggered off, eyes wild with fear and nearly psychotic fury.

Climbing the embankment, he reached the freeway above and began walking down the parking strip. His wild appearance was reported by passing drivers.

A massive kathunt had been going on since the day the commander had been snatched. The SWAT Kats had volunteered their time to aid the search but had no more success than the city defenders did.

The call by drivers out on the freeway was their first break. The enforcers raced to the scene with Felina in the lead in her chopper. They arrived on the scene to find Feral stumbling along the road side, eyes wild and scary.

Any approach was met with fangs, claws and snarls of terror. They were reduced to following him and keeping all traffic away from him. Felina made an attempt to get through to her uncle but he didn't seem to recognize her.

She'd not met his lover yet so didn't know how to contact him. Fortunately for her, Forry had taken to listening to the enforcer band in his car whenever he was out and about but especially now that his mate had been kidnapped. He had been worried and terrified for Uly's safety. He heard the urgent call about Ulysses and hurriedly made for the scene, relief and anguish warring within him.

At the road block he was stopped. Desperately, he told the nearest enforcer that he was the commander's lover and might be able to help. The officer frowned but decided this had to be looked into. He escorted the male to where Felina was following her uncle.

"Lieutenant! This male says he's Commander Feral's lover!"

Felina stopped and looked the handsome tom over. "What's your name?" She asked, frowning as her eyes kept a watch on her uncle as well as the male in front of her.

"My names Forry."

"Oh, yes, he did mention you. Alright, let's see if you can get through to him. Something really bad's happened and he looks really out of it. He threatens everyone that tries to get close so be careful," she told him as they hurried to catch up to Feral.

Felina stopped a few feet from her uncle while Forry carefully got closer. Forry's heart was in his throat at the condition his mate was in. Ulysses looked awful, his clothes torn, he was bleeding from cuts and bruises all over his body, and his eyes held a wild look of terror and loss.

Getting as close as he dared, he called out, "Ulysses its me, Forry. It's alright love. Let me help you."

Feral shuddered as he heard the voice of the one he loved more than anything. At first he refused to belief he had heard Forry, thinking he was being tricked but as the voice continued to cajole and speak to him he finally stopped in his tracks and looked around.

There standing just a few feet behind him was Forry, his arms reaching out to him, his eyes beseeching him to come to him.

With a choked sob of relief, Feral turned and lunged for those welcoming arms, nearly falling into them. Forry wrapped himself around the shaking tom, kissing and nuzzling him in a desperate bid to comfort and seek relief from his own fear as well.

Feral's legs collapsed beneath him but Forry never let go, following to body to the ground still holding him protectively. When they were sitting down on the hard asphalt, Forry cradled the big body in his lap and rocked him back and forth, pouring words of comfort into the tom's ear.

Feral had crumbled and was sobbing in emotional meltdown as Felina came closer and waited. Ms. Briggs (who had just arrived) and the SWAT Kats who had heard the call and had come running hoping to see if they could be of assistance, all walked up, stopping beside Felina and stared over at the pair in worried consternation.

"Any word as to where he came from?" Razor asked Felina.

"No. He was just found wandering down the freeway. He wouldn't let anyone near until Forry arrived and he responded to him. My uncle looked totally out of his mind," Felina said tightly, still upset.

At that moment Sgt Fallon rushed up to Felina. "Lt. Feral we found some kats dressed as ninjas near a van under the freeway underpass. They'd been beaten and clawed badly but there were signs they had a prisoner and he turned on them. It's possible that is where Commander Feral came from."

"Ninjas?!! That confirms Dark Kats involvement," T-Bone said sharply. "Wish we could get Feral to talk to us. He might know where that crud is hiding out."

Forry continued to rub his mate's back and rock him but he wasn't oblivious to the conversation being held a few feet from him. When he heard T-Bone's concern about finding Dark Kat, he knew he would be the only one able to get Uly to answer any questions.

Nuzzling his lover, he murmured softly, "Uly, honey can you talk to me? Love, please we need to know where you had been held!"

Feral shuddered and tightened his hold on Forry's body. At first, he couldn't even think past his feelings of intense relief at being rescued but then his sense of duty managed to rise to the fore. In a tight, hoarse voice he managed to describe what he could remember.

"I...I was taken in a bag.....didn't see where we went and was barely conscious. The place they took me looked like an old warehouse inside, cement floors, wood beams, large space. I was kept in a storage room with no windows. They bagged me again then hauled me here. They beat me but I barely noticed until one of them tried to rape me then everything went dark and I don't remember much after that...." his voice faded out and he nearly lost unconscious but he rallied and pushed on.

"He was the one who commissioned the experiments. He was trying to take over the government by using the drug and sex to make the person compliant and obeying only him and acting as the perfect spy. I was the one he planned to use as a mole within city hall. But I ruined his plans by being already damaged so they were disposing of me," he finally was able to finish before falling unconscious, his bodily injuries too much for him to remain alert any longer.

The small group looked down at the now completely inert Commander. Forry hugged the heavy body to his chest and stared up at the watching faces.

"I hope that's enough. I want to take him home but I know he needs to be seen by a doctor. May I stay with him, please?" Forry asked softly.

"Of course, you can. I'll ensure the doctors keep you near him at all times while he's being taken care of. CSI will have to check him thoroughly for any evidence so we can close the case on Dark Kat," Felina told him gently. Forry nodded his understanding.

"We can help transport him, Lieutenant. It will save time, rather than wait for an ambulance to get through that," T-Bone volunteered as he pointed to the snarled traffic blocking any avenue but the air from the site.

"Thank you, T-Bone. I guess that would be the best way." Felina sighed in agreement. "We need a stretcher though."

"No problem. We have one on the jet. I'll go get it." Razor said and ran to the Turbokat.

"Damn, Dark Kat. The Commander was just getting back to normal and now this happens," Callie said angrily as they waited.

"Well, I least we know for certain that Dark Kat was involved after all and not some nameless serial killer. Now all we have to do is find the bastard before he takes off. It won't be long before he hears my uncle has escaped," Felina growled angrily.

"Well knowing its Dark Kat and not some mystery kat will certainly make the Mayor happier and silence the katizens that have been howling for justice. As soon as you catch that creep, let me know so I can get a press release out immediately," Callie requested. Felina nodded as she watched Razor return with a stretcher.

She signaled for more assistance from her enforcers and soon Feral was being quickly loaded onto the stretcher. Two enforcers and the SWAT Kats gently carried the unconscious Commander to where the Turbokat was parked and loaded him on board. Forry stayed by his side as did Feral's assistant, Sgt Fallon.

"Take him to Enforcer Headquarters, they will transport him to a special hospital," Felina told them. Though surprised by the request, the SWAT Kats merely nodded their understanding.

Before taking off, Razor made a suggestion to Felina, "after we deliver the Commander to headquarters, we can come back and join the search for dark crud. My x-ray device and search the warehouses much faster and locate him before he realizes we're looking for him."

"Hmm, you're right and staying high enough will ensure he doesn't hear you as well. Alright, we'll wait until you join the search. We'll take a high altitude so he doesn't spook and run before we find him. Wait for us! I want in on the take down!" She ordered.

"Roger, Lieutenant. See you in twenty!" T-Bone agreed then leaped into the cockpit followed by his partner. The Turbokat soon rose into the sky and hurried off toward Enforcer Headquarters.

Once her uncle was on the way, Felina quickly got on her radio and called for Colonel Tigaard. She quickly briefed him on what needed done with her uncle and to allow Forry access to the facility as well. That done, she quickly ran to her chopper and summoned a squadron to join her in the search of the warehouse district.

When the SWAT Kat's reached the flight line a squad of enforcers came hurrying out, took control of the Commander's stretcher and Forry, escorting them to a waiting transport chopper freeing the vigilantes to take off again and meet up with Felina.

_**Psychiatric Ward, Eagle's Nest Citadel...**_

Forry was in awe of the secret military facility. He wasn't allowed to see where it was located but he did get to see the inside and was impressed by the size of the place.

He followed close behind Uly's gurney as he was rolled to the medical wing. Feral was placed inside a quiet room and was quickly examined while Forry was forced to wait with a guard outside the room. He'd been provided a chair and some coffee as he waited.

It was over an hour later before he was introduced to a Dr. Woodard who took him to his office to speak with him in private.

Woodard's office was warm and comfortable as well as pleasantly cluttered with homey touches as well as books, med records, and a computer perched on one end of a big desk. Woodard gestured for Forry to take a seat in one of the overstuffed chairs before his desk.

"So you are Ulysses' lover?" Dr. Woodard asked as he settled into his own comfortable chair.

"Yes sir. We've been together over six months now. We've even moved into a new home recently," Forry said proudly.

"That is wonderful news. I'm glad to hear he's found someone so quickly and bonded as well. This will make it easier for him to recover from his trauma much faster than the first time. However, he still has that original trauma to get over," Woodard warned gently.

"Oh yes. I know about that sir. We've been working on it and I pray he will make a breakthrough soon," Forry said earnestly, relieved Uly would be alright.

"I suspect it will happen very soon. This new trauma might be the catalyst for it to break free at last. I least I truly hope it will."

"I don't know if you've been told or not, doctor, but Uly was denied his medication for over three days during his captivity and he was given a sedative that made him ill," Forry told him. Uly had regained consciousness briefly and had brought him up to date which helped Sgt Fallon with his report as well.

"No I hadn't been told that, thank you. I'll get him back on meds quickly and he's already been given the correct sedative he's used to. It will take him a few days to feel more at ease."

"May I remain here with Uly as he recovers, doctor?"

"Of course. It is because of you he will recover quickly. Do you need to contact anyone about being gone from work?"

"Yes, I'll need to contact my office and take a short vacation. Shouldn't be a problem."

"That's good. Since this is a secure facility, I will have to have Colonel Tigarrd intercede for you in making your call to your office," Woodard said warmly, reaching for his phone to call the colonel.

Very soon, Forry had gotten vacation time and was sitting next to Uly as he slept more comfortably. His wounds had been treated and he'd been given a sedative that was more gentle to his system. All Forry could do now was watch TV and wait until his love awakened.

_**Warehouse District...**_

"Sir, Commander Feral has escaped and injured the ninjas sent to dispose of him. The enforcers have them in custody." A ninja soldier notified Dark Kat an hour after the incident at the freeway.

Roaring in fury, Dark Kat ordered an immediate evacuation of his hideaway. He made sure Dr. Lynkill had his formula with him when they packed up and began their escape.

While Dark Kat was receiving his bad news, the Turbokat was zeroing in on their location. As they were reaching the end of the north section, Razor spotted the ninjas loading a submarine-like vehicle parked at a dock near a large warehouse dealing with pharmaceuticals.

"We've got them T-Bone, they're fleeing like rats. Hold our position while I get a hold of the lieutenant," Razor shouted to his partner as he quickly switched radio frequencies and called Felina.

"Roger, but only until either the enforcers get here or those creeps start to leave." T-Bone acknowledged. "We're not about to let them get away now." Razor grunted an agreement as he reached Felina and gave her their location.

Felina acknowledge and gave a five minute arrival time. Meanwhile the pair kept an anxious watch over the scurrying criminals. Felina arrived and, as a group, they swept down on Dark Kat. Not knowing what type of shield or weaponry the sub-like vehicle had, Razor fired some exploratory missiles at it. Most were repelled with ease. Switching to a more improved Mega volt missile, Razor shorted out DK's systems.

In fury, Dark Kat fired his lasers at the SWAT Kats nearly searing their tail before T-Bone snatched them out of the way. Razor continued to pound the sub as the enforcers swept in to cut off any escape by the ninjas.

The sub was soon crippled but not wishing to take any chances with the canny criminal, Razor fired a drilling missile to make a hole in the hull and followed it up with a gas grenade missile. He wanted to make sure Dark Kat could not set off a bomb as he was prone to do.

The enforcers, with gas masks on, entered the sub and removed the prisoners. For once they succeeded in getting Dark Kat in one piece. They were hauled away to the jail. Felina was well pleased with the joint mission and gave the SWAT Kats the high sign of victory. They waggled their wings at her and took off for home.


	15. Chapter 15

**A SOUL IN TORMENT**

Chapter 15: A Nightmare Released, Happiness at Last

Feral had been forced to remain in the Eagle's Nest Citadel for over a week but at last he was recovered enough to go home with his mate by his side.

Dr. Woodard gave him instructions for his recovery. He now suffered renewed nightmares at least once a night but of shorter duration. He would have to see Katrina a little more often and his meds were increased again.

Though unhappy about his setback, Feral was happy to be at least going home. Having Forry so near had made all the difference in making this stay more bearable.

Colonel Tigarrd acted as his escort once more and flew him and Forry back to Enforcer Headquarters. Feral had been given strict orders to go home for another five days before reporting to work. The only part he disobeyed was getting an update from Felina on what had transpired once he'd been taken away that day.

He was ecstatic to learn Dark Kat had been captured and no enforcers had been lost during the engagement. He was even pleased about the SWAT Kats being the ones to keep the engagement short and less costly to all. Relieved, he was able to go home in a more peaceful state of mind.

Forry was the one who drove them home, a warm smile on his face at seeing how happy his mate was as they rode along.

"Would you like to stop and have a quiet lunch at our favorite place before going home, my love?"

"That would be nice," Feral sighed with pleasure.

The restaurant wasn't too busy and they enjoyed a quiet and wonderful lunch together. Despite the original trauma still haunting his dreams, Feral was feeling much more comfortable with himself and very relieved he was no longer alone.

As he watched his love enjoy their quiet meal, Forry's mind went back to the final briefing Dr. Woodard had given him in private. He had been told Dark Kat had newly opened the scars on Uly's psyche. Those long held memories of that dark time in his kittenhood would continue to undermine any effort Uly made to get better. However, though they both hoped the new trauma would allow Feral to get over his previous one, there was a chance Uly could bury it deeper instead.

Dr. Woodard suggested Forry see Katrina and ask her advice as to how to help his lover overcome this final hurdle. He thanked the doctor and planned to get a hold of Katrina as soon as he possibly could.

Three days later, he managed to break away. He was nervous doing this behind Uly's back but was determined to help his mate.

"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance at last, Forry," Katrina smiled warmly and shook his paw when he appeared in her office. She gestured toward the couch, suggesting he sit there.......she joined him moments later.

"I'm glad to meet you too. I can see how much you help Uly by how he behaves with me after his sessions however, the reason for my visit now is to ask what I can do to aid Ulysses in releasing this destructive memory that hurts him so badly."

"I can understand how badly you want to help, but Forry these things must happen in their own way. They cannot be forced. What you can do for Ulysses is to be there whenever the nightmares strike and offer all the comfort you can. Eventually, he will spill the beans, as it were but it will be on his own terms and his own time. I know this is hard for you watching him suffer but your patience and love will be rewarded," she said seriously.

They talked for a little while longer before Forry said farewell and thanked her for her time. The session had helped him deal with his own stress as he tried to handle the problem from his side but still wished he could do more. Sighing unhappily, he returned home.

It was late August and they had been together more than eight months now. Uly had recovered completely from his capture by Dark Kat but that buried memory was still there. It was a wonderful nearly perfect weekend, weather-wise so Forry planned a picnic for just the two of them. Something their busy schedules hadn't allowed.

The city was finally quiet, making life a bit easier for Feral and Forry's caseload had finally lessened a bit. So Forry felt the time was right to spend some outdoor playtime together. Packing a basket lunch and a frisbee, they made for their favorite spot on the bay, little frequented by others.

Just as they had hoped, their favorite spot was empty and the waters of the bay were so still it appeared to look like glass. Setting up their blanket and basket under a willow tree, they moved to more open ground to play frisbee. They both turned out to be pretty good and soon they were jumping and laughing. After about an hour of playing, they went to the blanket to eat their lunch which consisted of cold chicken, sodas, chips and potato salad.

Chatting amiably, they finished their lunch and packed their trash away. Uly leaned his back against the tree and Forry moved closer to lay his head on his lover's chest. They sat there staring at the bay quietly letting their food digest, Uly gently caressing Forry's back absently.

After a long while, Forry sighed, sat up more and turned to give Ulysses a warm kiss which the dark tom returned eagerly. They kissed for a while, their paws caressing and groping getting a little more heated as time went on. No one was around as they began to strip off their clothes, slowly deepening their kisses. Before long, Forry lay beneath Uly, hot and needy.

Giving his mate a lustful look, Feral prepared his lover and entered him slowly. They both groaned at the moment of complete union before Uly began a steady rhythm that brought them panting and crying out long minutes later. Rolling to the side so he wouldn't flatten his mate, Uly kept his arms wrapped around Forry as they lay side by side kissing and licking each other tenderly.

Forry felt so happy when he was in Uly's arms. "I love you so very much Ulysses." He told his beloved. Ulysses sighed and nuzzled Forry back saying the same with his body that he couldn't say with words.

The sun was going down when they put their clothes back on, gathered their belongings and walked to the car for the quick ride home. Forry decided to make something nice for dinner and had Uly make a salad to go with it. They chatted as they prepared the simple meal and sat down to eat it. Afterward, Uly helped with the dishes then they went to watch a lTV before bed. Another bout of gentle love play with Forry as lead, carried them both off to sleep.

It should have been a perfect end to an enjoyable day but the dawn's early light dragged a nasty reminder that things weren't as perfect as they seemed.

His mind jumbled the beautiful day with the one that been soo nice until the moment he'd been dragged into that alley in broad daylight with the sun shining warmly_._

_'Well lookee here. It's a pretty kitty. Come here kitten we want to play with you' _smirked the blond punk he'd seen hanging around the park for the past few days. His three other friends had nasty smiles on their faces and Ulysses could feel his heart in his throat and his mind screaming to run but it was too late. They were much bigger and had him surrounded_. _

_'We'll show you a good time, won't we guys,' _the blond punk said as he pulled Uly close as he gestured to his friends to come nearer.

He gave Uly an obscene kiss and rubbed his body against him while his buddies pulled the young tom's clothes off him. He tried to wriggle free but the blond only held him tighter. He whimpered in fear then screamed when he was suddenly bent over and one of them inserted themselves in his unprepared and virginal channel.

Ulysses was screaming and wildly swinging his arms. He threshed around so much he fell off the bed. His eyes were blind to all but what his inner vision saw.

Forry came awake violently. Seeing the space beside him empty, he crawled over and looked down at the floor. Ulysses was on his back, eyes tightly closed, and his body thrashing as if he was fighting someone. Forry quickly got down on the floor then wrapped his arms and legs around his mate and called over and over again, trying to draw Uly out of his nightmare.

Feral was sweating and trembling, his stomach tight as he tried desperately to free himself from the nightmare and the ghostly grasping paws of the punks. Through his terror, he heard Forry's desperate pleas that he return to him. He struggled hard and finally managed to free himself and forcibly opened his eyes to stare into the copper ones of his lover.

"Oh love! Are you okay now?" Forry asked gently, his heart breaking.

Feral swallowed as he heard the pain in Forry's voice, his anguish for him. Taking his courage in his paws he spoke haltingly, "I...it was sunny...just like our picnic...they were waiting for me. I'd seen them around and didn't like them. I tried to avoid them...but that day I was thinking of the game I was in the next night and didn't see them hiding in the alley until the blond one grabbed me and yanked me into the alley with him...He...wasn't alone...there were three others." He shuddered a moment, gulping for air.

"Uly, it's okay you don't have to..." Forry started to soothe him.

"No...I have to say it or I never will." He stuttered anxiously. Forry nodded and just held him tightly. "The blond said he wanted to show me a good time, then he kissed me. He held me so tightly it hurt. His buddies yanked my pants and shoes off. I tried to get away harder but they were soo much stronger than me...next thing I knew I was being bent over and one of them ...he...Oh god!...he penetrated me...it hurt soo bad I screamed...they slapped me to shut me up but it hurt too bad. Before the next one did it I managed to get away but didn't get far before they tackled me and slammed me against a wall. I was stunned when the next one took me. I was slammed around a lot over the next thirty minutes until they were all finished. Then they dropped me to the ground laughing as they fixed their clothes and walked away. I lay there bleeding and in pain for I don't remember how long but it was dark when I finally was able to pull my clothes back on and drag myself home. My parents rushed me to the hospital and I pleaded with the doctor to not tell my parents about the rape. He didn't like it but repaired my rectum and gave me cream to ease it while it healed." He stopped suddenly and heaved for air as if he had run a marathon.

Forry continued to hold him while his emotions railed at the cruelty of those punks. He wished they were still around so he could smash their faces in. For a moment he was stunned at the violence in him but he'd never been so in love with someone before and the thought of what Uly had suffered had set off a savage protectiveness within him.

"Alright love, now that that is out you should finally have some peace. It will still be there, nothing can take it away but now it won't have so much power over you. How about a nice hot shower then some tea? I'm going to call us in sick for the day and we'll just rest." Forry said firmly.

"No, I need to go in. I can't hide away here," Ulysses said, still somewhat shaky and cold inside.

"No you are not!" Forry said sharply causing Uly to stare at him in surprise. "You give everything to this city. You ask nothing in return. You are going to stay home and recover your equilibrium and feel much better tomorrow and stop feeling guilty about taking much needed time for yourself. No argument! I think it would be best if you saw Katrina later today too. I'll call and see if she can get you in. Now let's shower." Forry pushed his shocked mate to the bathroom.

"Gee Forry, I've never seen this side of you before," Ulysses purred, as they stood in the shower while Forry scrubbed his back with soap.

"I'm just feeling particularly protective of you my love. That's all." Forry said warmly, a little uncomfortable about his behavior.

"Hmm. Actually I like how you take charge. It's exciting," Ulysses murmured, turning and depositing a passionate kiss on his mate. He rubbed soap into Forry's fur going from his chest to between his legs and fondling his genitals that were taking an interest in his mate's caresses.

Washing away the nightmare, he buried himself in this kat's love for him as he brought them both to shuddering climaxes. Panting to get his breath back, he nuzzled Forry's face and said softly, "I love you."

"And I love you so very much, Ulysses," Forry murmured then stepped away so they could rinse off and get out of the shower to dry.

The next day was so much better than any before it had been. That was because Feral felt more freer of spirit now that the nightmare had been released. Talking with Katrina had succeeded in reducing the awful memory to something much more manageable, leaving him much calmer and less angst ridden. This new mindset allowed him to react to the bad things in his job with focused calmness and none of the explosions of temper he had been formerly prone to. The SWAT Kats found that a refreshing change as did the enforcers. It allowed for a more relaxed working environment for all.

Later that week, an attack by Viper was ended quickly and before the SWAT Kats could leave they were pleasantly surprised when Feral took them aside and thanked them for their discretion when they saved his life and kept his secret. He told them he was much better and warned them to watch crossing over the line or he'd have to arrest them. They smiled at the tongue in cheek, threat and left happy their antagonist was truly recovered and enjoying life again.

For their first anniversary, Ulysses had special jeweled collars made. Taking Forry out to dinner at a very exclusive restaurant, he gave him a beautiful single red rose. When they got home he presented his gift.

"Oh my god! Uly, it's beautiful! Is this what I think it is?" Forry asked his voice tight with emotion.

"Yes, I want you as my life mate and this collar and the one matching it is a declaration of my love for you and my wish for us to share our lives forever." Ulysses said nervously.

"Oh love, yes! I will life mate with you and share my live with yours forever." Forry trembled as tears of joy fell from his eyes. He took the matching collar and placed it around Uly's throat.

Uly did the same for him. His eyes glowing with love, Ulysses Feral kissed his life mate Forry Stanhope. They held each warmly as they made their way to their bedroom and a night of celebration.


End file.
